Page 33 of Wedded to the Loveless Duke
They bobbed in the middle of the lake, the sunlight beating down on them and glancing off the waves that the wind was kicking up. The breeze ruffled Eleanor’s hair beneath her bonnet, tossing the curls that had freed themselves during the ride against the edge of the cloth hat. She looked at Phillip at last, and the expression on her face was a curious mix of longing, fear and awe. “Phillip, can it really be that this will all work itself out better than I had imagined, as you said?”
“We cannot know that until the end of our story.” He adjusted their position with the oars to keep them in the center of the lake. “What is it you really want to say, Eleanor? You look a little frightened now.”
“Is it… is it wrong that I want this to work? That I want you?” Her words spilled out in a rush. “I feel as though it is, but I do not want it to be.”
“This cannot be wrong, Eleanor.” Phillip leaned forwards, leaving the oars in their holders to take her face between his hands and kiss her. “Not when we are wed and it brings us so much joy.”
Eleanor leaned closer, the boat swaying slightly as she kneeled between his thighs at the bottom of the boat. He took what she was offering but no more, letting her set the pace. He’d meant it when he’d told her that their first time together wouldn’t be on a boat, but he wasn’t going to argue about kissing her. She steadied herself with a firm grip on his thighs, kissing him back with as much fervor as he was kissing her.
Finally, he drew away and trailed his fingers gently along her jaw to her ear, where he tucked back a stray strand of hair. “I hope you will believe someday that I am that same man you whiled away so many pleasant hours with at your father’s house. Will you try, at least?”
She blushed and returned to her seat with a shy smile. “I suppose I might manage that.” Her gaze fixed firmly on thewater, and she trailed her fingertips over the surface as the two of them lapsed back into silence.
After a few seconds, Phillip broke it. “Tell me something about yourself. Something that no one else knows.”
Eleanor glanced up and then back down at the sun-dappled water. “I loved fairytales as a young girl. I still do.”
“Your father knows that!” Phillip laughed. “I do not think you quite grasp the meaning of something no one else knows, my love.”
She smiled sadly. “My father knows that I loved fairytales and that I still do, but he does not know I loved them because I wished I could find my very own knight-in-shining-armor or fairytale prince. Instead, it seemed all I ever found were frogs. I tried so very hard to find a spark that would draw me to any of the men around me, but I only found myself increasingly discouraged. I never thought I would find my prince, so I gave up and vowed never to marry if marriage meant settling for a man who would want to keep me down so that he could feel he was the hero from the fairytales I loved.”
Phillip sat in silence, her words sinking in. They painted a true but sad portrait of the lives of the women who were not the biddable type in their society, and he felt a pang of sadness at how it must have hurt her to keep finding nothing but disappointment. He would have given up too.
“Perhaps you only found frogs because you were waiting for the right man. Your knight, not just any old knight.”
“Maybe,” she murmured. “Maybe you will be that knight after all. Anyway, it is too early to tell.”
CHAPTER 13
The days following the boat ride were filled with tentative exploration of one another. Phillip was often called away on business or to Parliament meetings, but he spent every available moment he could with his wife. As for Eleanor, she had to admit that things weren’t going the way she’d imagined they would on her wedding day. Phillip was nothing like the cold husbands who viewed their wives as mere means to an end, but he also was nothing like the ones who doted on their wives but controlled every aspect of their lives in the process.
Eleanor was surprised to find that Phillip was true to his word. He had not clipped her wings. In fact, the two of them often discussed his affairs at breakfast. He’d discovered by happy accident that she was intrigued by economics and mathematics which had led to a hearty discussion of his investments and the financial markets. Most men would never include their wives in business, dubbing it a man’s world. Phillip seemed not to care for such conventions, much to Eleanor’s relief.
She found herself praying that the fairytale would never end, but as all fairytales are wont to do, theirs, too, had to end at some point. It ended the day her father came calling during dinner.
Phillip had informed her absently that morning that he expected they might have guests for dinner, and she had instructed Annie to have the other maids set the table for four, presuming that he’d meant the Bedfords. If he had meant the Bedfords, then it soon became clear that they were not the only company he’d had in mind.
Eleanor was busy giving final instructions when the doorbell rang. Frowning, she finished telling Annie what she wanted for dessert. The butler could fetch the door, or if not, one of the maids would. It was still too early for dinner guests to arrive, so she could not imagine the Bedfords were the ones at the door.
The butler ghosted into the kitchen and stood waiting until Eleanor had finished speaking with Annie about the final menu arrangements.
She finally turned to him with a smile. “Who is at the door, Hartley?”
“Your father, Your Grace. The Duke of Fife asked if he might see you. I have showed him into His Grace’s smoking room for the moment.”
Her father? Here? Eleanor grasped the edge of the table to steady herself and shook her head. “Inform His Grace that myfather has arrived. My father must be here for my husband, not me.”
“He asked for you specifically, Your Grace.”
“I do not wish to see him at the moment.”
The look in the butler’s eyes was placid, as though it was an everyday occurrence for a woman to refuse to see her father, but the maids exchanged looks. Eleanor didn’t bother to chide them. It must be odd to them that a highborn lady would snub her own father like that.
“Then you wish me to tell him that His Grace will be down to see him shortly, Your Grace?”
“I do.”
“Very well, Your Grace. I will see to it he is informed.” The butler bowed and then hurried out to do as instructed.
