Page 37 of Wedded to the Loveless Duke
Eleanor caught her lower lip between her teeth and lifted one shoulder half-heartedly.
“I wanted to kiss you, you know… I thought it was wrong of me to want it when you were so furious with me, though, and I could not bring myself to take what I wanted from you like that,” he whispered, then returned to tracing his fingers up and down the inside of her arm. “It has become harder and harder to give you the space you need,” he admitted. “It is difficult seeing the distrust in your eyes, and it hurts me when we take two steps back after one step forwards.”
She exhaled softly. “I… I do not need you to keep giving me space, Phillip.”
He looked up at her and smiled. “I am not certain I believe that. Even if it is true, now is not the time.”
Eleanor flushed. “But you have just admitted that you want me.”
“Do you want me? Love me?”
Her breath hitched. “A proper lady does not have strong sentiments beyond those of duty and obedience. You cannot ask me such a question and expect me to answer.”
He sighed. “You know, it is not only women who need to be wanted and loved, Eleanor… I want you, but more than anything, I want to be wanted in return. Loved in return.”
The color in her cheeks blossomed into her ears. “Truly?”
“Truly.” Phillip kissed the tips of her fingers. “I know the answer to my question is not yet yes.”
She frowned. “What if I never come to the point where I do want and love you like that?”
He sighed. “I suppose it does not matter. I will be here regardless.”
“You are insufferable,” she grumbled. “Should it not upset you that your wife might never love or respect you?”
He kissed her chastely. “As your father pointed out, however rudely, you are mine whatever happens between us, but that goes the other way around. I am also yours whatever may happen. Heir or no heir, love and respect or none at all. Still, I hope I will be able to change your view of me.”
She nodded and laid her head on his chest. “I want you to.”
“That is a start. Now then, to bed with you.” Phillip pulled away and took her hand, guiding her towards the bed. “You need your rest.”
“Will you stay with me tonight?”
“If I stay, will you contemplate what I told you?”
“I promise I will, at least until I fall asleep. Please, Phillip, I simply need someone to hold me and reassure me that it will be all right. I… his presence hurt, Phillip.”
“Very well.”
He didn’t have the heart or the strength to deny her when she looked at him with those pleading green eyes. He hated that lost, sad look in her eyes whenever she thought about her father, and he would do anything to chase it away.
CHAPTER 14
Eleanor settled into a routine with Phillip much quicker than she’d expected. Weeks passed without any intrusion from her father. She attended a few balls with her husband as the Season began to swing into full gear, and they entertained at their estate as the renovations were all finished.
This morning, Eleanor found Phillip in his study looking over the plans for the aviary and conservatory. She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his broad back. “Looking over plans?”
“Would you like to help?” He sounded hesitant, but he put the offer out anyway.
She couldn’t blame him for being uncertain. After all, she’d all but bitten his head off the last time he’d suggested she take part in planning the renovations for their home. “I know nothing about architectural plans, Phillip.”
Phillip pulled out of her grasp and guided her to the table, wrapping an arm around her waist possessively. “Well, perhaps not, but I will explain what I am thinking, and you can offer your input. No knowledge of architecture is needed.”
“Very well.” She leaned into his side and stared down at the drawings he was working through. “Do you do drafting, Phillip?”
“It was one of the things I did in my first job. I apprenticed with an architect thinking I might someday wish to build houses. Instead, I went into finance.”
“Oh. Did you enjoy it?”
