Page 52 of Wedded to the Loveless Duke
She squeezed his hand and smiled up at him. “And he has left me with you.”
“That as well.” He leaned in to kiss her once more, this time lingering a little longer before withdrawing. “Even if had he left me nothing but you, I would have considered it ample.”
Eleanor lowered her head, her cheeks warming. Did he really think so highly of her?
“I do not think myself such a wonderful wife that I am as valuable as the money to pay off your debts and everything else he left you,” she mumbled.
Phillip snorted. “Yet you railed at me for believing that I could treat you as though you were worth no more than the money he paid me in exchange for marrying you.”
That had been her accusation, but that had been before she’d realized how sorely she had misjudged her husband.
“That is no longer what I think. How could I, knowing what I know now? Besides, I never said I was worth less than all he gave you in the will. I only meant that it seems strange for you to think so highly of me as to consider me gift enough.”
He kissed her cheek with a sigh. “Someday, my love, you will understand how I can say so, and then you will not think it so strange.”
Eleanor pursed her lips, staring at the willow’s leafy branches as they swayed in the light breeze. “Phillip… maybe… I have been thinking… Perhaps we are ready to discuss the matter of an heir?”
He raised an eyebrow. “You can barely mention the subject without a stammer and a blush on your pretty cheeks, dearest. Are you certain that you are ready?”
“Well, it is only that…” She shifted and stared down at their clasped hands. “I never wanted to be married, and I certainly never imagined I would long for a child. With my father’s passing, though, I find myself wanting that family… wanting to have a child. Besides, we do need to have an heir to carry onyour family name and inherit everything you and my father have consolidated through our marriage.”
“Do you truly wish to bear my heir, or are you bringing the subject up because you know it is expected of you?” He lay back in the grass, folding his arms behind his head. “I am in no particular hurry, Eleanor. We are young and have time.”
“Do you not want me to have your child?” Her lower lip trembled as that potential disappointment added to the emotional turmoil her father’s death had created. Maybe he thought she could not be a good mother to his child and he did not wish to have a family with her. It wasn’t as though she’d had any vast experience with having a conventional family, so she wouldn’t blame him for thinking that her education was incomplete without a mother to guide her through how to be both a wife and a mother.
He lifted his head with a frown. “Eleanor, look at me.”
She did, her cheeks flaming as her tears welled up in her eyes. Why was she so unhappy at the thought that he might not wish to have a family with her? She’d never imagined herself the mothering sort, so why did she feel disappointed at the possibility of losing what she’d never wanted before?
“Whatever it is that has put that look in your eyes, banish it from your mind. Of course I want you to be the mother of my children. That is a part of being married after all! I have always dearly wished to be a father, and I can think of nothing I would love more than to create a family together, but I do not want you tofeel any pressure towards something you are not ready for.” He reached up and wiped away a falling tear. “Do not cry, Eleanor.”
“You mean it?”
“I do. But why are you crying?” He sat up and cupped her cheeks in his hands, kissing her forehead. “I did not intend to upset you.”
“I thought you might think me unsuitable to be the mother of your children b-because I had no mother of my own and b-because… well, because I h-have hardly been a model wife to you so far.”
Phillip chuckled. “I will not hold either against you. No mother or father truly knows what they are doing. It is a process.”
“I want to have a child, Phillip.” She clung to his arms. “Not because I know it is my duty, but because I want to have your children. I want to have everything I always thought I abhorred.” She laughed, surprised by her confession. “It seems you were right after all. The right man does not clip his bride’s wings. It seems the right man makes her long for things she never had the certainty or the courage to long for.”
He grinned. “I am glad to hear it. But come, we should return to the estate, or we will drive part of the way in the dark. We will collect the things your father left for you over the next few weeks before fall sets in. As for the matter of beginning a family of our own, that is a matter we can discuss and see to once you have had time to process what has happened today and the lossof your father. There is no rush, dearest.” He drew her to her feet and kissed her cheek. “Let everything happen when the right time comes.”
Eleanor leaned into him with a smile and let him guide her back across the fields to their waiting carriage. He was right. So far, everything had happened at the right time. It would not be different when it comes to a family of their own. Until then, she was content in letting what was between them grow and exploring what it meant to be his.
EPILOGUE
Phillip lifted Eleanor from the back of her horse and removed the blindfold. “You may open your eyes now, dearest,” he murmured in her ear, smiling at the way she shivered against him.
A small gasp of delight told him she’d seen his surprise. It had taken a great deal of planning and distraction to keep her from discovering his intent to have a picnic down by the lake. After the pain she’d been through and the shock of her father’s passing, Phillip wanted her to have some time where she could simply enjoy being with him without any worries or distractions. The picnic had been his way of achieving that. He’d decided to make a game of it with the blindfold on a whim, but seeing her reaction now, he was very glad he’d done so.
Eleanor spun around to face him with a broad smile and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “It is beautiful, Phillip! When did you have time to organize this without my knowledge?”
“It was a joint effort,” he admitted. “Annie and the kitchen staff worked hard to hide it, and the rest of the servants kept you occupied with decisions about the décor for the sitting room so I could sneak it all out without being caught.”
“Well, it is perfect. I have not had a nice picnic in some time.”
He swung her up into his arms, grinning at her surprised squeak, and carried her to the blanket before setting her down. “I thought you might enjoy it. I even brought a fairytale book that you love so much. Although I cannot fathom what you see in these dark tales of woe from the Grimm brothers, since they seem to be your particular delight, I brought them along and thought we might read some after we eat.”
