Page 22 of Wedded to the Loveless Duke
“I could not!” He rounded on her, crossing his arms. “I could not, Eleanor! I wanted you badly. I begged your father to let me court you properly, but he refused me. He told me that if I wanted you, it would be on his terms, so you are not the only one who must play by another’s rules from time to time. You do not find me complaining about it, though!”
Her lower lip trembled, and she stared down at the ground. “You have what you want by dancing to another’s tune, Your Grace. I stand to gain nothing if I do.”
You stand to gain everything! That was what he wanted to shout at her, but it would fix nothing. She didn’t believe his claim to want her or his desire to love her. She thought he was playing yet another cruel game, lying to her about his intentions, trying to pretend that this was not what it was—a loveless match made to pay off his debts and get her off her father’s hands. In her mind, Eleanor stood to gain nothing and would not see otherwise until he found some way to crack her shell to reach the woman hiding beneath it. Shouting at her would only push her further away.
Phillip took a step back, his throat constricting. “That is not true. You may not believe me now, but I hope you will someday. Never mind the lunch. Annie will bring it to you, and you may eat it alone. I will make the decisions about the design alone if you truly do not wish to be a part of renovating your own home.”
Her lips pressed in a thin line, and she finally looked up. “I believe you are offering it only as a way to shackle me to this place, if not to you. I do not want to be tied to you or this place. The first I cannot control, the second I can.”
“Then control it, if you must.” He sighed and shook his head. “Maybe he will never have his wish.”
Eleanor frowned in confusion. “Who?”
“It does not matter. You will not believe me if I tell you. Enjoy your afternoon, Eleanor.” Phillip spun on his heel and returned to the house in defeat.
Upon entering the kitchens, he told Annie that he would take his lunch in his study while his wife would take hers in the garden. At that pace, William would be in his grave before Eleanor ceased her stubborn refusal to be treated as a wife instead of a prisoner, and he would not live to see his wish for her happiness fulfilled if she would persist in her stubborn behavior for the years to come. Phillip would not have his happiness either, and the realization left him cold and despondent. How would he survive his marriage if Eleanor would never hold any affection for him?
Not for the first time, Phillip cursed his uncle for dying and leaving him such a mess. If not for his uncle’s abominable lack of concern for the estate’s finances, he would not be in this situation at all. He truly didn’t think he could loathe another as much as he loathed his deceased uncle at that moment.
Eleanor couldn’t make sense of Phillip. He had insisted that he did not marry her for the money, and yet, she could not believe that to be true. His revelation in the garden two days ago still niggled at her. Had her father truly ordered him not to court her? Had Phillip really wished to court her and given up that option to have her?
Thinking about it all made her head hurt, so she abandoned the worry and returned to her original course of action. She would behave as a reluctant bride, capitulating to her husband in everything as a prisoner with no will or right to an opinion of her own. Perhaps in time he might grow weary of her and let her go, revealing once and for all that his real interest was in nothing but her money. Then, she would be as free as a married woman could be, for a man concerned only with his wife’s money would rarely bother her with concerns about the house’s decor or anything that was not necessary to keep up appearances before the ton. It was best that way, since love was not an option.
Still, the near kiss bothered her as did his absence from her bed. He might have married her for the money, but what good would money do him if he had no heirs to pass it on to? Phillip hadn’t even come to her room after she retired since that first evening, and it left her both wanting and uneasy.
Eleanor lay on her bed, staring up at the green velvet canopy with Bella pressed against her side. Why had Phillip chosen not to kiss her? He had married her against her wishes with herfather’s help. He now had a right to take from her whatever he pleased whenever he wished. Why hadn’t he acted on it? It was clear he had wanted to, but he had settled for kissing her on the forehead and bidding her goodnight before leaving her chambers.
Groaning in frustration, she sat up and put on a day cap to go downstairs. Sarah was visiting today for the first time since her wedding, and she would be here at any moment. Eleanor hurried down to the parlor to find that Annie had instructed the maids to lay out tea as she had requested. The pot was wrapped in a knitted tea cozy to keep it warm, and the cups sat daintily on the saucers beside it. The sugar bowl and small cream pitcher were freshly filled, and the whole tray had been arranged nicely on the little table by the window.
There was a knock at the door of the parlor, and Eleanor turned to find Anna, one of the older maids, waiting at the threshold. “Lady Sarah is here to see you, Your Grace.”
“Thank you, Anna. Please show her in.”
A few moments later, Sarah swanned in. When she spotted Eleanor by the window, she rushed over and embraced her friend with a laugh. “Eleanor! It is so good to see you.”
“Likewise, Sarah.” Eleanor hugged her friend close, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. How she had missed having her friend at her side! “You must tell me how you have been faring. Come and sit with me here at the table.”
Sarah did, her cheeks pink and eyes twinkling with excitement. “Well, I have a viscount courting me now. Mama believes I may bring him up to scratch soon, and I admit that I am quite excited about the prospect. He is a good man, I believe, and quite generous.”
“I am… well, I cannot understand your enthusiasm about it, but I am happy for you, since I know you have wished to get married for some time now.”
Sarah’s smile fell. “I hope you will not hold it against me, Eleanor. Really, I have no wish to hurt you with my enthusiasm… but you must tell me. How is life here with His Grace?”
Eleanor busied herself with pouring the tea to buy herself a moment to think. She didn’t want to tell Sarah that she hated it. The truth was that she lacked for nothing except for her freedom, and she couldn’t truthfully tell her friend that she was ill-treated or miserable. If she was unhappy, it was not because the Duke had not tried to make her feel otherwise. “You know how I feel about marriage, Sarah.”
“Yes, but I had thought it might change now that you are married,” Sarah murmured. “Has it not? Is he cruel? I did not take him to be so, but appearances can be misleading.”
“He is… confusing. He is not cruel, however. It is only that I detest losing my freedom to a man, no matter how kind or generous he might be.”
“Do you not think you could come to love him?” Sarah sipped at her tea with a frown. “I know the way it came about was rushed, but surely…”
“There was no courtship, Sarah.” Eleanor finally broke down in tears and told her friend what had happened. “My father did not even inform me that I was to be wed to His Grace or that we were arriving at my own wedding until we were getting off the carriage.”
“Really?” Sarah’s eyes widened. “And His Grace did not tell you himself?”
“No. He claims my father told him that if he wished to marry me, he would keep the wedding a secret. The two of them both betrayed me horribly, and I cannot find it in myself to forgive them for the loss of my freedom and the lies.”
“Oh, Eleanor.” Sarah reached across the small table and took Eleanor’s hand in hers. “I am sure they meant well, though I admit it is rather strange. But how has he been treating you since then?”
