Page 31 of Wedded to the Loveless Duke
“Why?”
“Because I did not want you to be treated as part of a transaction. Frankly, I was furious with your father for making the lack of a courtship a part of the bargain, Eleanor. I wanted you for you, not the money, though I admit that I desperately needed the funds to make our future certain, since I did not wish to make you the bride of a pauper. If not for that, I would have been content to tell your father to withhold your dowry if it meant I could court you properly. He refused to offer me any real explanation for why I could not, telling me only that you would refuse me if I made my intentions known.”
Her gaze lifted to his, and she shifted in her seat with a grimace. “I would have refused you. My father never would have married me off if he had approached me honestly or through the usual channels. I still cannot understand why he was so desperate to marry me off, to begin with. I never imagined he disliked me so much that he wished to be rid of me at any cost.” Tears filled her eyes. “I thought he adored me.”
Phillip’s work-roughened hand took hers. He squeezed comfortingly. “He does, Eleanor. I know he does.”
Eleanor sniffled and tried to brush away the tears with her free hand. It was silly to cry over this. It was done and over with, and tears would not solve anything. “I am sorry. This is silly of me, crying over my father when he has proven he does not care about me.”
“It is not silly.” Phillip’s voice took on a sterner note than before, and he pulled her to her feet, drawing her closer to sit on his knee. “Never say that it is silly for you to feel sorrowful when someone has done something to hurt you. I may believe he had a good reason for doing what he did, but I know it hurts, and I know you do not understand it. It seems like a betrayal to you, and it is not silly to feel hurt by that.”
Eleanor buried her face in the crook of his neck as his words sank in and set her tears free.
He held her close, running a hand up and down her back until she had calmed and lay limp against him. “Do you feel better?”
She nodded and sat up. “But I am a mess now. I will have to clean up before we go out.”
He tucked an errant strand behind her ear and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe her face. “Nonsense. We are not going out in public. You are beautiful just as you are.”
She sniffled and laughed a little. “I am not beautiful when red-eyed and teary.”
Phillip smiled. “You are always beautiful to me, Eleanor. It has nothing to do with your physical appearance, although you are very beautiful in that way too. It has everything to do with you and who you are on the inside. That is far more important to me than whether your hair is perfectly coiffed or whether your face is always young and fresh.”
“I suppose I am glad that one person thinks so.”
He leaned in and kissed her chastely. “And so I always shall. Now come, we should go change if we are to go out. You will want a more comfortable gown for the boat, and I do not intend to wear my morning suit out on the water.”
Eleanor grinned. “I suppose that would not be terribly suited to the excursion.”
Phillip lifted her off his knee with a smile. “Indeed not. Twenty minutes, and we shall meet at the entrance hall. I shall fetch the picnic basket from Annie when I am finished changing, and I will wait for you there.”
She nodded and rushed to do as he asked, her heart feeling lighter than it had in months. When Phillip had spoken to her that final time before the wedding, maybe he had been right to tell her that things might turn out better than she would imagine. Of all the men she could have ended up marrying, Phillip seemed the least likely to destroy her in an attempt toturn her into the perfect submissive wife who would behave more like a church mouse than a woman. For that, at least, she was grateful. The beginnings of good change in their relationship gave her hope that perhaps married life would not be so miserable as she’d imagined after all.
The day was sunny and warm, perfect for a trip out on the lake. Phillip loaded the picnic basket on the back of his Hessian Warmblood and then turned to find his wife feeding the animal a carrot. He shook his head. Eleanor spoiled Griffin horribly, and the giant white horse loved her for it. “Eleanor, come. Griffin will grow fat if you continue to give him treats.”
Eleanor joined him at the horse’s side dutifully, tucking away the rest of the carrot in her pocket. Griffin turned his head to lip at her skirts but gave up when the carrot did not materialize. He stood still and placid while Phillip lifted Eleanor into the saddle.
“I am not riding my mare?”
“Not today.” He made certain she was comfortably settled in the side seat in front of his own spot atop Griffin before he mounted and settled in behind her. “I wanted to ride with you like this.”
That lovely deep shade of pink that always adorned her pale cheeks whenever he hinted at any bit of intimacy spread across her face. She ducked her head, hiding beneath the brim of her white bonnet.
“Now then, none of that.” He lifted her chin and kissed her cheek. “There is no cause to hide in embarrassment. We are man and wife, Eleanor. If I want to ride with you like this, there is no cause to feel embarrassed. Besides, we are the only ones here besides the servants. Once we leave the yard, there will be no one else to see anything we do. I do not want you to hide from me or my affection, particularly not in private.”
Eleanor chewed on her lower lip, and it was all he could do not to pull it from between her teeth and kiss her senseless. The woman really had no idea what she did to him. “Look at me,” he commanded gently.
She did. Her gaze was wary and uncertain, and he hated seeing that look in her eyes. He wished she would look at him with nothing but trust and love.
“If it bothers you so much, I will have the groom fetch you your own mount, but I really wanted us to ride like this so that it will be easier to talk.”
She gave him a tiny nod. “Very well. What did you wish to talk about?”
Phillip urged Griffin into a gentle walk, taking them round the back of the stables and heading out towards the lake. “There are many things I would like to know about you, but I had no particular design for today’s conversation.”
Eleanor fiddled with her reticule. “Well…”
“Do you have something you would like to discuss?” the Duke prompted.
