Page 71 of A Spinster to Heal the Duke
The rector's wife and Noah both looked confused as they politely introduced themselves to one another further, and Anne walked away quickly. She found a quiet area in another room ratherthan going to the kitchen. Then, she pressed her back to a wall, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
"This is too much," she told herself. "I think I need to just excuse myself and return upstairs."
She braced herself to brave the dance floor and find her grandfather, but as she reentered the area, Anne saw the Duke laughing and playfully dancing with a young girl, a child of no more than eight or so. The sight was somehow both touching and heart wrenching.
Then, Noah seemed to sense her presence or Anne's eyes upon him. He slowed his dance and smiled broadly at her. Somehow, his expression, the sweet sight of him and the small girl had been the last Anne could take of trying to hold herself together.
She could feel her face warm and a sting building in her eyes until the first tear began to fall.
"Excuse me. Pardon me," she said, making her way around the perimeter of the room toward the front door of the assembly.
She continued until she was in the cool night air. Then, she let every tear she held that day fall.
Moments later, Noah's voice rang from behind her.
"Anne, what is the matter? Are you all right?" he asked, coming to stand before her and looking almost sick with concern.
Anne wiped away a tear and said, "I'm all right. Return to the party. All of this is for you. The people of Reedley are here to spend an evening celebrating the Duke of Grandon."
"I'm here to spend time with Miss Anne Drowton, but I feel I haven't had a moment with you all night. Please, talk to me. Tell me what is wrong," Noah insisted.
"I know," Anne yelled. She took a breath and repeated, "I know your secret."
CHAPTER 20
"What are you talking about?" Noah asked with a look of confusion. "My only secret was my sensitivities with food, and I told you that some time ago."
"If only that was all," Anne said, shaking her head.
Noah reached for Anne to calm her, to steady her, but she stepped back from his touch.
"You toyed with my feelings like I am some sort of plaything for you," she snapped. "All of our walks and conversations that have held such meaning for me were just a means of passing the time for you. I am a passing flirtation to occupy you until your return to the city."
"What are you talking about?" Noah asked, but Anne continued, her feelings overflowing like a pot left unattended on high heat.
She felt like one, too. Her cheeks felt warm. Her ears were hot. Anne felt warm rage, disappointment, and sadness surging through her.
"All these days and weeks I believed we were growing close. I didn't know what would happen when it was time for you to leave, but I was beginning to believe you might want something more, whatever that might look like," she said, everything inside her settling to heartbreak and defeat.
"Anne, please," Noah said in an earnest tone that stopped Anne in her tracks. "Please tell me what you are talking about."
"I know that you are engaged, Noah, Duke of Grandon," she stated blankly.
Noah was silent. He parted his lips to speak but closed his mouth again when he realized he did not have enough words to fix matters.
"I know that you have someone waiting for you in London, expecting you to return and marry her," Anne said through tears though she spoke more calmly now. "I will not be the other woman. I will not be someone who ends a marriage before it can begin. If you know me at all, you know that I could never."
"Anne, I never loved her. I don't love her," he professed. "Our arrangement is something our parents agreed upon years ago. I tried my best to talk my parents out of it while they were alive, and her parents have continued to persist since a few monthsafter my parents passing. My responsibility to her is contractual, business I never signed on for."
"But you are engaged," she repeated. "You do not deny it, other than that it was not your wishes. You should have told me."
"I should have," Noah admitted. "I should have the moment I realized my feelings for you, but Anne, I love you."
"I believe you," she said softly, "but it doesn't matter."
"It matters more than anything," Noah pleaded.
"No, it does not, Your Grace," Anne said, straightening her stance and wiping her tears though they continued to pour. "Even if it is loveless or a formality, you have made a promise. I will have no part in you breaking it."
