Page 73 of Her Duke By Accident
Without another word, Matthew began to eat, his gaze still and unbothered.
Despite his change, Alicia couldn’t push past the feeling of his wall coming down, of him talking freely to her. In that moment, he felt so open to her, ready for the barrier between them to come crashing down. But the second she acknowledged it, Matthew reeled himself back in, rebuilding the wall out of all its broken pieces.
Alicia set her fork down. She wasn’t ready to go back to how it was.
“It’s my turn to ask you a question,” she suddenly said.
Matthew jolted as if he had forgotten she was there. “Your turn?” he repeated. “We weren’t taking turns.”
“You got to ask me something. It’s only fair I get to do the same.”
He pressed his lips together. “Alright.”
“What did you mean when you said I had to stay out of things I’d never understand?” Alicia asked, her voice quiet and quivering. “In the garden.”
Matthew looked away from her. “I do not wish to speak of the past.”
“You asked me a question about?—”
“About my sister, Alicia. I asked about my sister, the reason we are here this evening. That is all.”
Alicia frowned. “Is that the only reason?”
“What?”
“You agreed to this dinner,” she said, “just because I helped her? That’s all?”
Matthew stared with widened eyes. “Why do you want to talk about that night?”
“There were things left unsaid, Matthew.”
“I said everything,” he muttered.
“No,” she snapped. “Do not lie.”
His lips pressed together in a firm line. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Alicia fought the urge to drop her hands in exasperation. “Matthew,” she said firmly, his name ringing through her ears. “How can you be angry that I can’t understand if you do not explain it to me?”
“I cannot.”
“Why?”
“Not everything is yours to know,” he said quickly, his voice rising.
She wanted to reach for him, to grab his hands and hold them to her heart, to beg him to feel the truth within her. In the firelight, the duke looked like a child, one who had his innocence shattered in front of him. He watched the flames dance with a furrowed brow, a twitch that tugged his face down in a pained frown.
Alicia ached to hold all the pieces of him together.
“It is not mine, Matthew,” she whispered. “I know it is not mine. I know that the ghosts of Garvey haunt you. I know that your past sits on your shoulders, not mine. All I ask is to carry the burden with you.”
He grew incredibly still.
“You do not need to be in so much pain.”
“I’m not.”
“Not everything need hurt you,” Alicia interrupted. “Not while I am here.”
