Page 120 of Duke of Diamonds
Back in her chambers, she placed the locket on her nightstand and slid beneath the counterpane, tucking the candle close. She opened the journal.
July 1
Mr. F has asked me to marry him! I feel I might burst from happiness. And yet, he has not spoken to my family. I told him I must ask why before I answer. Surely he only needs time? He says he loves me—I believe it with all my heart.
Fiona traced the neat cursive with a finger. Her brow furrowed.Why would he ask for her hand without seeking her family’s approval?She turned the page.
July 10
He says he has no fortune, that my family would not welcome him. He fears rejection, says he has only his love to offer, and that it should be enough. I do not care for fortune. What is gold compared to affection?
Fiona’s lips pressed into a thin line.Clever words. Designed to draw sympathy. But love should not ask a woman to conceal him.
July 15
Elaine said she wants to introduce me to a friend of Samuel’s—a marquess in want of a wife. She thinks I should be flattered, that I shall live like a queen if I agree. But I do not want a marquess. I want no title, no grand estate. I want Mr. F. But if Elaine is suggesting this match... then surely she will not approve of Mr. F at all. He said she would turn me against him. What if he is right?
Fiona’s breath caught.He’s isolating her,she realized.Subtle. But it’s there.
July 22
Isaac is home for the summer. He is sweet, but still very much a boy. I cannot burden him with such matters. He might side with Elaine. He does not yet understand love... real love.
Fiona blinked at the page, her heart aching.You were so young, Mary. Too young to see you were being maneuvered.
August 1
He asked me to elope with him. To Gretna. He says if we are wed, my family cannot undo it. That they will come around. He promises me happiness, a future free of interference. I am frightened... but also terribly in love. What choice do I have?
Fiona closed her eyes a moment, exhaling slowly.You had every choice... but he made you believe you didn’t.
August 7
Elaine has arranged tea with the marquess. I am to meet him this week. But I cannot. I shan’t. I have made up my mind. I shall go with Mr. F. He is the only one who sees me. Who needs me. He says once we are wed, I shall never be made to feel small again. I believe him. I must.
Tears pricked at the corners of Fiona’s eyes.
He knew precisely what to say. Exactly where to press.
September 2
I have been a fool. This morning I heard all Mr. F said about me. Laughing. Laughing at me! He said vile things; called me simple, naïve. And Isaac—sweet, brave Isaac—tried to defend my name. I cannot breathe for the guilt. Isaac is hurt. He may not survive. All because of me.
Fiona’s hand trembled as she turned the next page.
September 14
Isaac lives. But he is pale. Too pale. The wound was grave. He might have died. Because I believed a lie. Because I let myself be led by a man who never loved me. I am ashamed. I have disgraced my family. I cannot bear the pity in Elaine’s eyes. I cannot look at Isaac without tears. Perhaps... perhaps I should leave. Perhaps that is best for all.
Fiona lowered the journal. Her chest felt too tight to draw breath.
The graveness of Mary’s heartbreak, her guilt, tightened Fiona’s heart. She blinked, and only then did she realize she was crying.
She set the journal aside with trembling hands, threw off the bed covers, and reached for her robe. Slipping it on, she stepped into her slippers and padded from the room.
Isaac’s study was empty. So was the morning room. And the library.
She made her way to the cloak room, retrieved her cloak, and wrapped it tightly around her. Her hands were cold.
