Page 96 of Duke of Emeralds
A familiar voice called her name, pulling her back. “Your Grace! Are you quite well?”
Hester blinked the haze away and saw Lady Alderton approaching with Lord Paisley. The sight of them together would have made her laugh on any other day. Lord Paisley was the man Thomas had called the King’s fool at the Alderton ball.
Lady Alderton, resplendent in emerald silk, tilted her head in concern. “You look positively wan, dear. Is something the matter?”
“I am well, I assure you,” Hester murmured though she could not muster enough voice to make it convincing.
Lord Paisley grinned. “If she is unwell, perhaps it is the company.” He waggled his eyebrows at Lady Alderton, who promptly smacked his arm with her fan.
Lady Alderton, dropping her voice, asked, “Are you certain it’s not a more delicate matter, Your Grace? If I may be so bold… might you be enceinte?”
Hester’s mind went perfectly blank. She stared at Lady Alderton then at the far wall where Thomas now laughed with yet another peer.
Enceinte?She had not thought to hope for such a thing. Not since their separation.
A pain lanced through her chest, so sharp she wondered if it might have physically pierced her.
She wanted it. She wanted it so much, she could taste the bitterness of loss on her tongue. She had not thought herself capable of such longing, not after the years spent steeling herself against want, against disappointment, against heartbreak.
She loved him.
The realization hit her with all the violence of a carriage crash. She, Hester Green, Duchess of Lushton, loved her husband with a ferocity that frightened her.
It did not matter that he had left her. It did not matter that he had never said the words or that he was now across the room laughing while she suffered.
She loved him. She wanted nothing more than to have him back and to build a life together, but she had ruined it all, right from the start.
Hester rose, and the room tilted again, and this time, she was grateful when Lord Paisley steadied her elbow. “Careful, Your Grace,” he said with genuine concern.
“I—” Hester tried, but her voice failed her. The air was thick and hot, her face was burning, and her chest ached.
Lady Alderton took her elbow. “You should sit back down.”
But Hester didn’t want to sit. Instead, she did the only thing she could: she shut her eyes and wished with all her might for something—anything—to change.
“I suppose our wives have found each other to gossip about us,” Lord Alderton roared, clapping Thomas on the shoulder with a bear’s affection. Colin and Isaac joined in the laughter, but Thomas managed only a tight smile.
Our wives?Alderton would not have said so if Hester were not present.
He turned and looked around ballroom, his heart pounding. Somewhere, surely, she was here.
Hester was on the far side of the room, caught in bright lamplight and the gaze of every man with a pulse. Lady Alderton stood beside her, but it was the gentleman on Hester’s left who had Thomas’ jaw clenching.
The King’s fool, Thomas thought sourly. Or, as Hester preferred to call him, the jovial Lord Paisley.
He watched Hester, noting her every gesture. The angle of her head, the clutch of her reticule, the half-hearted smile she offered as Lady Alderton fussed over her. She looked thinner than he remembered. Paler, as if she’d left something vital behind in the weeks since he had last seen her.
Paisley was doing his utmost to amuse her. Thomas watched as the man leaned in, said something, and Hester’s mouth—God, her mouth—curved into a smile, soft as sunrise.
Thomas did not like it.
He told himself he did not care; that it was all for the best. But then she turned in his direction, and their eyes met. He moved before he thought, and as he made his way toward her, horror gripped him.
She swayed.
Time seemed to slow. Thomas watched her knees gave way. She would have gone down if not for Lady Alderton’s quick hands.
He pushed through the crowd, ignoring the tittering matrons and startled gentry. He reached Hester just as she was being lowered into a chair, Paisley and Alderton fussing around her like anxious hens.
