Page 44 of Royal Hottie
Back to reality.
He orders us lunch from room service. It’s awkward now. I wring my hands together, hating that it’s gotten to this point after all the fun and, yes, real affection between us.
“I’m going to check in with the guards,” he says and leaves.
I wander to the window, not really seeing anything, suddenly exhausted. I slept only in short intervals last night. Somehow I know a long night’s sleep won’t be enough to ease the heaviness in my limbs. I have to go home. I have a chance at a real career waiting for me there. My baby sister will be here soon. My career and family are important to me. And I don’t kid myself that five weeks more with Phillip will be easy to walk away from. I’m falling for him and I’ll only get in deeper. That doesn’t mean I’ll get commitment back from him either. All I’ll get is hurt. And I’m not ready to go to that dark place again.
I did the right thing turning him down. My gut knots, and I take a deep shuddering breath. No matter how shitty it feels right now, the answer has to be no.
Phillip returns a few minutes later. He takes my hand and guides me to the sofa, sitting next to me. “Hear me out. I’m only asking for five weeks of your time. Go with me just for the tour with Global Sun Water. All expenses paid. No strings. Then you can go back home and I’ll start my work for the UN.”
I close my eyes for a moment, torn by the earnest sincerity in his voice. It’s so much easier to say no when I’m not looking at him. I remind myself there’s no way that we could extend our time together without a lot more risk to both of our hearts. It’ll only prolong the inevitable breakup. I hazard a glance at him. His eyes are intent on mine, his expression hopeful.
I blow out a breath. “Phillip, my career is just starting to get back on track. I’ve got sixteen of Anna’s friends who want me to do a consultation at their homes for them. It will be the first time I’ve ever been an entrepreneur, and I could be a success at it. After the low point I hit, it would mean so much to prove myself. And you know I’ve got a baby sister on the way. I want to be part of her life, a big part. I need to go home.” I leave out the part about the inevitable heartbreak. My heart is already breaking just knowing this is our goodbye.
“Your new clients can wait five weeks, and your sister won’t be here for four more months. We could have more of this incredible experience together. You enjoyed yourself, right?”
Maybe I misread his intentions. Here I am wallowing in deep emotions while he sees it as an extended Paris for us, casual and fun. I wish I could just enjoy the moment like he does. Even so, letting myself enjoy the moment, agreeing to five more weeks, will change me. I’ll fall one hundred percent. It will be impossible to protect my heart. The risk is too great. I can’t see how this would work between us long-term with our very different lives, assuming he actually wants a committed relationship. Not at all a sure thing.
“Phillip—”
“Just answer the question.” He cups my jaw, his finger stroking the sensitive spot under my ear, drawing a shiver. “Did you enjoy yourself?”
“Yes,” I breathe. I can’t resist his touch, can’t help but melt.
He flashes a smile. “So let’s keep it going. Why turn away from a good thing?”
I swallow hard, forcing myself to ask, “You mean this would be our Global Sun Water bubble?” I need to know where he stands—casual fun or something more.
He leans close, looking deep into my eyes. “No more bubble. This is you and me. I know the timing is bad with us both heading in different directions. I know you have a life back home. But, Ruby, I have feelings, deep feelings, and, if you do too, I think we should give it a chance. Just a little more time.”
My heart thunders in my chest, scared yet hopeful. I’m not alone in the deep waters. Maybe, just maybe, it’s a risk worth taking. “And then what?”
He carefully tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, the gentle gesture undoing me. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let’s just enjoy the moment. Can you do that?”
I bite my lip, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. I so want to enjoy the moment because it means I can have him. “I need some time.” I stand. “I’m going to take a walk. Clear my head.”
“But lunch is on its way.”
“I’ll grab something when I’m out.”
He pulls out his wallet and hands me some bills. “I’ll be here. Take as long as you need. Call me if you get lost.”
I take the cash. I still only have US bills. “Thanks.”
I grab my coat and purse and rush out the door. The guards nod at me, but otherwise don’t seem surprised by my sudden departure. I don’t know if they were listening or if all of Phillip’s women take off after their night together.Stop that. He cares for you.
I need food first to think clearly. I stop at a small patisserie and get myself a chocolate croissant and coffee. It’s exactly what I need, the croissant buttery and sweet, the caffeine waking me up.
I take a look around and head toward a park in the distance. Once there, I walk every path there is and then reverse it, until finally I stop and take a seat on a bench. If I go home—back to my family and building my business—it means I leave Phillip behind forever. My throat tightens. I’m already in deep enough to know that will be hard. I’ll catch glimpses of him in the news as he does his charitable work, lending his name and warm personal touch to a great cause. Paris and our time on Villroy will be a precious bittersweet memory. But if I travel with him for five weeks on the Global Sun Water tour, building more memories with him, it ultimately ends in the same place, me going home without him.
Either way, I have Phillip as a precious bittersweet memory.
Either way, I end up alone.
Either way, I love him.
I do. It’s too late to protect my heart. The only question is, would anything change in those five weeks that could possibly mean I don’t end up alone? Is it, as Phillip said, worth the risk to give us a chance? Is there some way we could have a future together?
