Page 37 of Royal Shark
“You could try.”
“Youcould try. Dylan thinks highly of you. I think you could be the sweetness that balances out all the sour that went before.”
She smiles and says conspiratorially to me and Chloe, “My brother has a very high opinion of me.”
“It has to be you,” Adrian says.
She tilts her head. “I’ll try. I have to clear it first with Gabriel and Anna.”
“You know Gabriel would do anything for you.”
“Okay, okay!” Silvia exclaims. “What a bossy pants you’ve turned into since becoming the boss at the casino.” She says it with great affection, clearly proud of her brother.
“Speaking of,” Adrian says, turning to me. “Have you given any thought to flying back with me to check out the casino? I’d love your opinion on the running of the place.”
I go cold, chest tight.Breathe!The truth is, I’m afraid all of the grief will come flooding back, but I can’t admit I’m too scared to face it. I want him to think I’m strong, capable, and completely past this. They died twelve years ago. It shouldn’t have such a stranglehold on me. I swallow hard.
“Sara?” Adrian prompts.
I glance at Chloe and realize I have a perfectly legitimate reason not to go—she needs me. “I can’t. Chloe’s here. She just started school.”
Chloe’s brows lift. I send her a sharply worded telepathic message:It’s true! You’re my responsibility. I’m your legal guardian.
“Just for a short visit,” Adrian says. “Doesn’t Chloe live in a dorm now?”
“Yes.” Chloe turns to me. “I’m fine if you go away for a few days. Actually, I’m fine even if you wanted to stay longer.” She tucks her hair behind her ears, pink dotting her cheeks. “I’m not a kid anymore, Sara.”
I’ve embarrassed her. “I know that. But what if you need something? And what about our weekly dinner?”
Chloe enunciates slowly and clearly, “I’ll. Be. Fine.”
Now I’m the one who’s embarrassed. My cheeks burn. It almost seems like she doesn’t need me anymore. How could this be? Chloe has depended on me for absolutely everything since she was six years old. It hurts more than I thought possible, a hollow, empty ache in my chest. The one tie I kept in my life is cutting herself loose. I stare at the table, mentally reviewing all the ways I’ve been there for her—helping her study, cooking for her (or bringing her my portion of food), being her confidante, going with her to the doctor and the dentist, paying our bills, buying her anything she needed.
My wretched discovery of my nonessential part in her life is interrupted by the arrival of dinner. I can barely focus on the food. Chloe outgrew me. I mean, I knew she would eventually, I wanted her to, but not yet. When she was in medical school, or maybe in her senior year of college. Not now, three weeks into her first semester. Is this why she’s been so quiet tonight?
I glance over as she eats her meal with her usual studied intensity; her mind is probably back on her organic chem exam. When I wasn’t looking, she moved on. Now what am I supposed to do? Who do I pour all my love and care into? There’s no one else in the world I trust enough to open up with.
Maybe I should get a pet.No-o-o.It’s not the same. I want my little sister back.
Dinner passes in a blur. Silvia keeps up enough conversation for everyone.
I just keep watching Chloe. Is she happy? Did I do enough for her? Is she really ready to be on her own without me?
I think I failed her. I taught her to work hard, but I forgot to teach her to enjoy herself. But maybe her studies are what make her happy. I’d just like to see some joy from her once in a while. I haven’t seen jubilance from her since we were last on Villroy. Would Villroy bring some of the old Chloe back?
I’m being silly. There’s nothing magical about Villroy. It certainly wouldn’t bring anything back for me but grief.
As soon as we finish dessert, Chloe pipes up. “Thanks for a great meal. Much better than the caf, but I need to get back. I still have a lot of studying to do.” She stands abruptly, in a hurry to get back.
“Time for an all-nighter, eh?” Silvia asks. “I remember those.”
Chloe stares at her. “I never pull an all-nighter. I schedule my time exactly right to prevent that. It’s unhealthy to stay up all night, and you retain little when you’re sleep deprived.”
“Smart girl,” Silvia says. “Now I see why you’re the doctor.”
“You want a lift?” Adrian asks Chloe, rising from his seat. “My driver is here. I can take you both home.” He looks over at me.
“I’m out of the way in Brooklyn,” I say, standing and hooking my purse strap over my shoulder. “I’ll just take the train.”
