Page 75 of The Kissing Part
I glance at Mackenzie for backup, but she looks like she’s agreeing with Harper. “Well, yeah, but not that way. I guess I never had a serious relationship before when I was faced with a big career decision.” I smack my forehead. “Except the first time I was in a serious relationship with Owen. No wonder he can’t forgive me.”
“I don’t think you can call a relationship when you were teens serious,” Mackenzie says. “You were just too young for a commitment.”
I’m about to protest that wewereserious when she adds, “Even if the feelings between you were the real thing.”
I look around the table, hoping for support with my idea to fix things. “I offered him an all-expenses-paid trip for three months to LA so we could stay together, and he rejected it. He accused me of buying him off. I just wanted us to be together.”
“Sounds like manly pride,” Olivia says.
Harper tilts her head. “Maybe. I can see both sides. The need for discretion, and the need to include your significant other in life choices that affect both of you.”
“He’s probably pissed about losing the Vancouver job since it screwed up his DC job too,” Olivia points out oh-so-helpfully.
“The DC client was being inflexible,” Mackenzie says. “I’ve got other potential jobs lined up. We’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, but she did dangle a major job in front of him,” Harper says. She turns to me. “And then your career took precedence over his with no discussion.”
Tears threaten. “I thought you were on my side,” I say in a small voice.
“I’m on both your sides,” Harper says.
Mackenzie shrugs. “He is family.”
Stung, I can feel myself withdrawing. I’d hoped we were like family too. Didn’t they say we were honorary sisters?
“This is a good career move for you, Shayla,” Olivia says. “All you can do is look forward.”
I finish my wine in one long swallow. “I’m going back to the hotel in the city.”
“No,” Mackenzie says. “Stay here with us.”
I shake my head. “I’m putting you at risk, and honestly, I need a break from reminders of Owen. The resemblance here is just too much.”And the fact that you’re on his side.
“I don’t look that much like him, do I?” Harper asks, turning to Mackenzie.
“Yeah, around the eyes and cheekbones,” Mackenzie says. “Your nose too.”
“You do too,” Harper says.
“Makes sense,” Mackenzie says. “Twin Campbell genes. It’s almost like genetically we had the same dad.”
I leave them to their discussion of genes and how closely they really are related. All I know is I’m not family. They’ll always side with Owen. Blood is thicker than water, blah, blah, blah.
I need to burrow into my safe hotel room cocoon. Alone once more. Maybe that’s how I’ll always be. Tears sting my eyes, and I hurry from the room.
* * *
I drag myself through my last week at work. I’ve never been so depressed in my life. Losing Owen feels like a double loss. All the emotions from losing him in the past and the present mixing together to make for a toxic soup of regret, pain, and sadness. I’d held out hope for so long. Now it’s dead just like our relationship.
I know now I should’ve included him in decisions that affect both our futures. Maybe he would’ve joined me in LA, or maybe he wouldn’t, but the three-month separation might’ve been okay if he knew I made him a priority. Given our past, it was a tricky road to navigate. I hurt him once, and that made this time around so much worse. I can see it from his side. What I can’t see is how to fix this. Maybe it’s too late. Maybe he doesn’t believe we have a future anymore, and that’s why he won’t talk to me. He’s making a clean break.
Olivia booked us on a flight back to LA on the same day filming wrapped. Not a moment too soon. I’ve been holding myself together with sheer grit. We left Zander behind in favor of hiring a guard in LA. It’s fine. There haven’t been any incidents with Matt in weeks. Only my imagination, seeing him out of the corner of my eye. I can’t let him into my head because then he wins.
I settle into my first-class seat and proceed to work my way through a share-size bag of peanut M&M’s.
Olivia nudges my arm. “It says share right on the bag.”
I offer her some, though I don’t want to. “I should’ve swiped a bag for you too.”
