Page 24 of All's Fair in Lion and War
She picked up the brush and tugged it through a few small strands, wincing. How long had it been since she’d been allowed to brush her hair? So many things were missing. Every tiny detail. Big. Small. It didn’t matter. None were there.
She reached for a bit more cream and worked it through the strands. At this rate it would take the whole container of cream just to get part of her hair smooth again.
The brush caught again and she hissed. She wanted to rip it out. She was being selfish and whiny and not queenlike. She was stronger than this. It was just hair.
She could cut it off.
The idea of cutting off her long hair brought a fresh onslaught of tears streaming down her cheeks.
Again with the selfishness.
“Let me help you,shua—Lorelei,” he said moving toward her, correcting his slip of the tongue quickly, but it wasn’t fast enough. Hearing the endearment Tallix had used with such affection for years come from another man’s lips. Her heart cracked anew at the loss she’d yet to truly process.
Saul took the brush from her hand and the jar of cream from the counter. He put down the brush and started working the cream slowly through long twisted strands of her hair.
“I should cut it off. Do you have a knife?”
He shook his head. “Give it some time. Even if we have to work on it several times, you shouldn’t have to give up your hair.”
“It’s too far gone.”
“No, it’s not.” He put a hand on her bare shoulder and squeezed gently. Their gazes met again in the mirror.
They weren’t speaking of hair any longer.
He was telling her to be patient. With herself. With him. Not to give up.
“I’ll never be able to give you what you want.”
“Don’t worry about what you think should happen between us. Focus only on today. Fight for today. Fight for tomorrow. Can you do that for me?”
She swallowed slowly and looked down at her hands. They were clasped together so tightly her knuckles were white. She purposefully loosened them. Stretched her fingers. Flexed them. Took a deep slow breath.
“I will try.”
He held up a chunk of her hair to show her in the mirror. Completely smoothed out and trying to curl a little bit.
The slightest of smiles tugged at the corners of her mouth. It wasn’t as hopeless as she’d first thought.
Tangled hair felt like such a small thing. Being clean. Having clean clothes. Having food in her belly. She didn’t remember ever having to worry about those things. But looking at herself in the mirror again, she didn’t recognize the gaunt face. The sunken eyes. The tired glazed over expression.
She was so tired.
If she laid down right this moment, she wondered how many days she would sleep.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
“Saul, they need you downstairs.” The voice on the other side of the door was female, but not the dragon. This woman was a…bear? “I brought the extra clothes. Naomi said the woman you found might need them. She said hers would look like a shrimps clothes on her. Not sure what that means.”
Lorelei caught a tiny grin on Saul’s face before he hid it beneath another display of indifference. “It means Lorelei is tall like you. Shrimp are tiny animals, Ava.”
A chuckle sounded from outside the door. “Got it.”
The door opened a crack. A tall woman with long sleek brown hair poked her head inside. The scent was most certainly bear, mixed with a bit of wolf. Or the wolf scent was clinging to the woman’s clothes. Lorelei couldn’t tell for sure.
“I’ll help her with the hair, ourVrakahas requested your presence downstairs.”
“Thank you,” Saul said. He put the brush on the counter and touched Lorelei’s shoulder again, sending tingles through her body that she shouldn’t take comfort in feeling…but she did.
