Page 31 of All's Fair in Lion and War
Saul grabbed a coat from a cabinet and put it in her arms. Then he found the boots she’d been wearing. They were hers. They were worn, but still functioned. “I’ll get you new ones as soon as possible. These leather ones from our home world aren’t cut out for Alaskan weather. But they’ll do for now.”
He grabbed a blanket from a side chair and then came right up to her. “I need you to put that coat on. We have to move you and the others to a more secure location in town.”
His scent flooded her system. Even as her heart beat faster in her chest, her breath slowed in her lungs, stuttering to a halt like she’d been kicked in the gut.
The need swelling inside her was overwhelming.
She reached out to touch his arm and instead he took her hand into his. She squeezed his hand hard, and held her breath through the magical surge that flowed between them.
He’d been so careful not to touch her since that one time in the cabin. Then she’d only touched his lion, which wasn’t the same and the magick of the bond knew it.
But it was his touch. Their new bond cutting through whatever it was blocking her memory.
Injury. Magick. Something.
As much as it hurt to remember, she needed it. She needed to know what’d happened. If she really had lost Tallix. If she really was stuck in this new world. She needed to know everything.
“Lorelei.” Her name on his lips was a caress to her damaged soul.
“I just… I needed. I’m sorry.” She hung her head in shame. She was using the new mate bond selfishly. She was touching him, drawing him closer to her, but still rejecting him.
It wasn’t fair. She pulled her hand away from his and slipped on the coat he’d given her, keeping her gaze down. Shame filled her chest and choked her like her head was being held under water.
He took her chin in his hand. The contact sparked through her like she’d been struck by lightning. Again. He tipped her face up until they were eye to eye.
“Never apologize for taking what you need from me. I am your mate. Even if all you need to do is touch me. I’m here. After losing my wife and child years ago, I never imagined a second chance with anyone. There are no stipulations. I will not push you to do anything you don’t want. I know you are grieving. And I know what that feels like.”
She tried to look away from his intensity. She was going to cry at his kindness. At the offering he was laying at her feet. She didn’t deserve a man like him. It wasn’t fair that he was stuck with her. She would never be able to love him like he deserved.
But she still needed him. In a way she couldn’t describe.
He didn’t let her look away. “You are like water for the desert that is my soul. But I am content to just be near you for the rest of my life. I will care and provide for you. I will keep you safe. This is my vow. When you need more. Want more. You have only to ask or take,shuarra.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She lost herself in the blueness of his eyes. The shimmer of golden flecks. The low rumble of his lion rattled through his chest and vibrated through her in such a way that all she wanted to do was lean against him and remember how good it felt to be safe and protected and loved within a mate bond.
Hers had been shattered, and she could only begin now to pick up the pieces.
But fate had been merciful matching her again. Giving her a strong man to lean on while she learned how to move forward. While she healed.
She couldn’t call him mate. Not yet.
But she did need him.
“I don’t know how this is going to work between us, but thank you for being here.”
He wiped her tears with his thumb and nodded his head. “Trust that Fate knew what she was doing,” he said. The rumble in his chest stopped. “We must go now.”
He put out a hand to urge her toward the door and she obliged.
The rideinto town was uneventful. Most of the babies were asleep the entire way. She watched the landscape, awed by how different it was from home.
She’d done this on more than one occasion. She remembered bits of a few more days moving across forests with Rivian’s tribes. It was still so foggy, but she remembered he’d taken her to punish Tallix. But she also knew in her heart that he had not forced himself on her. And had let none of his warriors touch her sexually either.
The beatings were another matter entirely.
The beatings were how he’d punished and tortured Tallix. He’d made him watch as he beat her until she couldn’t take more. And then he’d killed Tallix in front of her, slowly and painfully, so that she’d felt every cut and every bruise.
She remembered the moment where the life had left her husband’s eyes. She remembered his words. How he’d apologized for failing her. How he’d begged that Rivian not hurt her after he was gone. How her heart had wanted to stop beating in that moment. How she’d wept for what had been so cruelly taken from her.
