Page 45 of Lion Conquers All
And him. His eyes widened and his mouth split into a pleased smiled.
“You stopped.”
He raised his eyebrows and nodded. “I told you I wouldn’t push and I kissed you anyway. I apologize. I didn’t mean to take liberties. You’re exhausted and with the search our emotions are running hot and I have—”
His words tapered off.
Normally Connie would’ve had a problem with the fact that he still had his hands on her arms. He was still holding her so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body and she found herself considering leaning closer.
What did that mean though? What was she saying to him by allowing the closeness. The touching. The kiss had happened and she hadn’t stopped it. She hadn’t wanted to stop it and if she was being completely honest with herself—deep down she wanted to kiss him again.
She hadn’t felt scared or out of control or trapped with Aarav.
In fact, he was still touching her and she hadn’t taken a step back or pushed him away. It confused her. She wasn’t ready to be with him. To be with any man. But at the same time, Aarav wasn’t just any man was he? He was Reylean. And he said she was hissoul call.
Evidence witnessed between all the other Reyleans and their mates over the past year and a half indicated that they loved loyally and whole-heartedly, more than any human male she’d had the displeasure of coming in contact with through her past.
Theoretically there were plenty of “good guys” out there who were human. Just none of them had been interested in her. Only the assholes and the bastards and the rotten filthy side of humanity had shown its face to her before she came to Mystery.
Mystery had been where she landedafterall that. Where they’d hidden her and given her the ability to start over. She was done with all her involvement with the US Marshalls, now. She’d testified. Put some of those filthy excuses for men in prison—her step-father being one of them. And then she’d settled into her quiet, tiny, non-tourist Alaskan town. The Marshalls checked in on her with a phone call every so often, but that was about it.
So much had happened today.
So much hadnothappened today.
“We didn’t find them.” The dam burst and she completely forgot she was arguing with herself about why she was still letting Aarav touch her. “They’re still out there and we didn’t find them.” Her body quaked and she collapsed against his chest, burying her tears in his shirt. His strong arms wrapped around her, not in a you’re-trapped-terrifying-way, but a I’m-here-for-you-no-matter-what type way.
“We will find them. The storm is an unfortunate complication, but we will find them,shuarra.” He turned her to the side, bent and picked her up, cradling her like a small child tucked against his chest like a treasure.
But she wasn’t a treasure. She could never be a treasure.
He walked into the darkness of her hallway, toward her bedroom.
A switch flipped inside her and she tensed. She slammed a mental door on the comforting energy between them and practically climbed out of his arms like a mental patient trying to escape their guard.
He released her immediately and backed away. “I’m sorry. Connie, I’m sorry.”
She had both hands behind her on her bedroom doorknob. Her body was shaking like the needle on a Richter scale— 9.0—complete devastation.
“It’s not your fault. I’m broken. Things trigger me and I…break—” Her voice was a hoarse whisper.
He shook his head. “You’re not broken,shuarra, you have scars from where you’ve sewn the pieces back together. You are strong and beautiful and a survivor and I love you.”
Tears blinded her. She continued to shake. She turned the doorknob halfway, but paused.
How? How could he love her? She was ruined. It wasn’t fair to give him any hope. She’d been selfish. He’d eased the pain in her soul and she’d let him and it was completely self-serving.
She shook her head. “It would be better if you didn’t. My scars are ugly. I can never be what you want.”
“Do you know what I want?”
“Me. Family. Children. What they all want.” Her voice rose higher and her pulse rocketed toward a panic attack. Tears burned down her cheeks. She couldn’t see him at all anymore. The darkness in her hallway and the blur from her tears had swallowed him up. “But I can’t do any of that. They ruined me.”
She turned the knob the rest of the way and slipped into the deeper darkness of her bedroom. She closed the door and snapped the first lock into place. Thethudof the deadbolt hurt like she’d stabbed her heart with a butcher knife.
Her hand reached for the next lock.
Thud.
