Page 22 of Wild for the Mountain Man
I sit up more, rub the heel of my hand over my face, which is hot. “Not a big deal to you?”
She shakes her head, and when she finally meets my eyes I see the pink ringing her cheeks, the beginning of tears. “It was a big deal. Only to me. I just—didn’t want to make you weird about it. I was afraid if I interrupted the moment and said something, you’d quit.”
Something in my chest goes off like a flare. I want to tell her she has no idea how weird I feel. I want to tell her I would have—should have—been more gentle, more patient, more everything, if I’d known.
“God. I wish you would have told me.” My voice is louder, but it’s not anger. I reach for her cheek, thumb catching the hot edge of her cheekbone, and she shakes her head against my hand.
“Because I wanted you to be the one.” Her voice is steadier now, the tremor gone. “I thought if I said it out loud, you’d chicken out and go all …” She makes a face, mimicking how I must seem to her. “… noble and protective. And I didn’t want protective. I wanted you.”
I want to tell her what it meant to me, but I can’t get the words to move past the lump in my throat. I just hold her, thumb grazing her jaw, and for a minute the silence says it better than anything I could.
She blinks fast, trying not to cry. “There’s no one else I wanted to give myself to in that way. Only you, Wade.”
The revelation of her virginity has hit me like a landslide. I can’t be heroic or wise in the face of that. I just keep holding her. I want to say something memorable, something that will last the rest of her life, but all that comes out is, “I don’t deserve you.”
She shakes her head, smiling in that unfiltered, mischievous way that undoes me every time. “That’s never been for you to decide,” she says. “There’s something else I need to tell you, Wade. When I fell and you rushed to help me, I wasn’t sure if I was hurt or not. When you carried me to your truck and I felt your arms around me … the way you took care of me … I decided I was hurt in my mind. I’ve been lying to you, Wade. There’s nothing wrong with my ankle. It’s just that I didn’t want your attention on me to stop. I wanted this – all of this.”
Shocked, I feel a angry at her confession. I’ve put my friendship with her father on the line and she’s been manipulating me with not telling the truth.
“Lilah, I’ve put my deep friendship with your dad aside to take care of you. While I appreciate your honesty now, I want you to know that you must be completely honest with me from here on.”
She raises off the bed on her elbows. “I’m sorry, Wade. I’m selfish … I know. I put my wants above the truth.”
I wipe my hand across my forehead, realizing that this sweet angel who can also be a little devil wanted me so badly she would fake an injury and not let me know she was a virgin.
“Lilah the little liar,” I say, branding her. “If you lie to me again, there will be consequences. I’ll turn you over my knee and smack your ass until it’s beet red.”
Her expression changes and her eyes widen as she realizes I am only sort of joking. She licks her lips and stares at me. “Promise?” she asks.
“Come here, lyin’ Lilah,” I say, pulling her closer. “You’re not going to be able to walk for a week,” I say. “We’re not finished.”
She laughs heartily and it breaks up the seriousness of this moment.
“I’ll take it,” she says. “I’ll crawl if I have to.”
“You’re not crawling anywhere,” I say. She nestles into me, my hands tracing lazy, half-conscious circles over her bare back. Her skin is soft like velvet.
“How are we going to let the world of Cady Springs … and especially your dad know about us? Don’t answer yet, Lilah. Let’s think this out carefully and have a heart to heart. Because I didn’t risk my relationship with your father for a toss in the hay with you. I want to keep you around instead of seeing you going back to the city. So … let’s talk, girl.”
Chapter 13
Lilah
Snowlight is different—soft, like the world’s been sanded down to the essentials. I wake to that hush. For a minute I just breathe, listening for him, checking the truth against the dream.
The truth is in everything. Another one of his flannel shirts he’s placed beside me, ready to put around my shoulders. The scent of Wade on the pillow.
Wade’s at the counter with coffee, head bent, steam climbing past his jaw. He looks like morning was invented for him.
“Hey,” he says when he notices me.
“How bad is it out there?”
“Highway’s still closed. Plows hit the main stretch, but they won’t make the grade until afternoon, maybe tomorrow.”
Wade pours me a cup of coffee and sets the mug in my hand. “Your dad texted. He’s stuck at the station, running calls and checking hydrants.”
“My hero dad.” I swallow a smile with the coffee. “He’s okay?”
