Page 13 of Tell Me Everything
Alex ran a hand through his hair, thinking. He'd wanted her to open up to him. Now she expected the same from him, and that wasn't part of the plan. What could he say that wasn't too personal, but personal enough for her to be satisfied with the answer? The only idea that came to him wasn't brilliant, not that he had a better option. Things had been so much simpler when she'd just ignored him.
“I had a massive crush on you in elementary school.”
Elena choked on her bubble tea and quickly grabbed a tissue from her bag. She rubbed her nose, coughing. How such an elegant girl managed to get tea out of her nose was a mystery. Alex watched her, half disgusted and half amused. After a few seconds, she was back to her usual self. “I thought I wasn't your type.”
“You were then.”
A sardonic smile played on her lips. “You had shitty taste in girls, then.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Of all the girls at school, I wasn't the prettiest or the most refined.”
He couldn’t contradict her. When they were in early elementary school, Elena was completely different from the person she was today. Her red hair was barely at shoulder length, and her eyes always sparkled with mischief. Back then, Alex thought she was so cool. Even if she looked more like a tomboy, her big, uneven-toothed smile had always charmed him. As a child, he'd been so shy, while she'd been a loud ray of sunshine. Times had changed, and they'd grown up. Now her teeth were perfectly aligned, but her warm smile was gone.
“True, but you were the coolest of them all. I was trying to impress you.”
She giggled. “That's not how I remember it. One day you gave me a bracelet with shells, and the next you were throwing pencils at my face.”
Alex laughed too. He'd been so clumsy with girls in elementary school. Several times he'd promised himself he'd confess his feelings to her, and each time he'd ended up chickening out. It was nice to think of those times when they'd been normal kids whom life hadn't destroyed yet, just like it was good to reconnect with someone he'd once cared so much about. Even if he had to keep his guard up. “I never claimed that my tactics to impress you would work.”
She shook her head, but she was having fun. At least a little bit. “Thank you,” she said, stuffing a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. “I owe you.”
“You don't owe me anything.”
She pursed her lips. She really wanted to smash her ice cream on his head. He could see it in her eyes.
“You spent the whole afternoon explaining radiation to me and helping me solve the exercises for tomorrow’s test, eventhough you didn't have to. I'm grateful.”
“Then it’s my pleasure.”
Elena turned her attention back to the ducks. Sometimes he wondered what was going through her head. What was she thinking? How did she see the world? Elena looked back at him. Now that she'd woken up, she would keep digging.
“Why are you being so nice to me? From the start, I've been terrible towards you.”
Alex smiled. She had been bitchy at times, which was a breath of fresh air. Unlike a lot of people, Elena stood up to him. People tended to stay away from him, especially when they were wrong. Elena, even when she knew she was wrong, wouldn't budge. Was it ill will or stubbornness, Alex didn't know. If only she could look him in the eye when they argued. That was a worry for later.
“I'm not as nice as you think.”
He wasn't going to pretend to be. There was a part of him he didn't want her to discover. A part of him was full of darkness. And if he could, he'd erase it from his memory forever. But under no circumstances could Elena know. It would taint the way she saw him, and he couldn't live with that. Elena looked at him as if she knew what he was thinking. It was impossible, yet the sincerity in her eyes gave him goosebumps. He could only hope she wouldn’t figure him out.
“You are with me. Why?”
Because you're like me.
“Let's just say I think my presence can be good for you. I know you're going through a difficult time right now, and not so long ago, I went through some shit too. If I'd had a friend at my side, I think it would have been easier for me to get through it.”
It might have helped him to take a better path than the one he had taken.
“You want to be my friend because you don't want me to be alone?”
“I also enjoy your company.” Much more than he had expected.
“You really think so?”
Alex had managed to get through Elena's walls. He just hoped she wouldn't get through his. She looked so vulnerable and hopeful. In this moment, she looked like the little girl he'd once adored, and Alex knew he was screwed. But what could he do when the fall was so easy?
“Of course. Let’s be friends?”
