Page 22 of Tell Me Everything
“Yes. You think I'm annoying, too.”
Those words were like a slap to the face. Of course, I knew I was annoying, but hearing him say it out loud hurt.
“Not really,” I mumbled.
It was true that I didn't like the fact that he'd inserted himself into my daily life without giving me much of a choice. Yet I'd come to enjoy his company. When he wasn't making lame jokes, Alex was kind and thoughtful. I didn't like the fact that he found me annoying. As always, it made me feel like I wasn't good enough.
Alex put down his knife, focusing his attention on me. “I've upset you. Why?”
How could he not understand? “You think I'm a pain in the ass. Why?”
“Because you won't let me into your life.”
I laced my fingers, looking into his eyes. He held my gaze with such force that I had to resist lowering my eyes. I had a bad feeling about the rest of the evening. But I had to know. “All right, let's be honest. If I tell you my most painful secrets, willyou do the same?”
“I don't have secrets,” he replied.
Too quick, too defensive. He was lying. I was stupid, but notthatstupid.
“And you said you didn't like hypocrisy.”
Alex clenched and unclenched his fist. I had gotten under his skin. Usually, nothing could disturb his cool; now cracks were becoming visible in his facade. I'd finally gotten a glimpse of the person behind the pretence, and I wasn’t sure I liked what I was seeing.
Alex was a mess, just like me. But he and I had changed in different ways. Life had made me a scared, withdrawn girl. Alex seemed to have a feral beast locked inside him. And when it broke free of its chains… I didn't dare think about it. I'd heard many whispers in the school corridors that Alex had once again lost his temper and fought someone to a bloody pulp. They said that he became wild when anger overwhelmed him. The more time I spent with Alex, the more I realized how little I knew about him. The reasonable part of me whispered to let it go. Yet I couldn't listen to myself. How was I supposed to trust Alex and build a friendship with him if he wouldn't talk to me?
“What made you this way?”
Alex crossed his arms. “What way?”
“You know...” I began, twisting my fingers. “Slightly fucked up?”
“You think I'm fucked up?”
The air around us became heavier. More dangerous.
“Aren't we all a bit messed up inside?”
“You’re probably right.”
He went back to his vegetables, like I would give up.
“What happened to you?” I asked in a small voice.
That was the last straw. Alex turned to me, jaw clenched. “Does it matter?”
Alex was becoming aggressive. A dangerous gleam danced in his eyes, and my hands began to tremble. I'd seen that kind of look countless times; it had often been directed at me. I also knew how things could go wrong in the blink of an eye if I wasn't careful.
And yet, I couldn't help but say, “Yes, it does.”
“Let it go!” he snapped, slamming his palm on the worktop.
Feeling my fear creep up on me, I decided to drop it and step back. Whatever he was hiding, it wasn't worth the risk.
“Do you think you could ever trust me enough to tell me about it?”
Staring into space, Alex lifted his chin. “It's not about trust. I don't want my past to influence your image of me.”
Chapter 11
