Page 34 of Tell Me Everything
“Jade is my mother's younger sister. She's actually a gynaecologist, but she's a good doctor.”
Elena looked at her hands for a second. She seemed to want to add something, so Alex gave her time to organize her thoughts.
Elena shook her head and took the sanitiser out of the kit. “You know, I was really scared when we found you all bloody and panting.”
Alex frowned. His pulse quickened. “I don't want to talkabout it.”
“I’m not asking you to. I just need you to know how I feel.”
She began to clean the cuts on his face. As usual, Elena showed him gentleness and kindness he didn’t deserve. He couldn't help but wince when she placed the alcohol-soaked cotton on his lip.
“Sorry,” she mumbled.
When she was done tending to his face, she helped him sit up to remove his shirt. In other circumstances, having Elena undress him would have been much more pleasant. And Alex would be lying if he said he didn't want it to happen in this particular other context. There was no reason to lie; she was gorgeous. In fact, Elena had set the bar so high that no one else could match her. But Alex couldn't say such a thing to her. Their friendship was complicated and fragile enough as it was.
Elena sat down beside him, making him feel as if she'd just punched him in the stomach with her sad eyes. Alex could hardly swallow. He hated those looks. They were the same ones his mother and friends had given him for years: sadness, compassion, pity. Alex felt something inside him break. Of all the people in the world, he didn't want Elena to look at him like that. He didn't want her to see him as weak and vulnerable. Anger and shame bubbled in his chest.
Elena continued to look after him in a heavy silence. Why did everything always have to be so complicated between them? Her gaze lingered on Alex's wounds for a few seconds too long. Elena reached for his face, and Alex snapped. It was too hard. His anger boiled in his veins.
“Don't touch me!”
Don't look at me like I'm broken.He turned his gaze to the ceiling and tried to master his breathing. It was a lost cause. Why was he so weak? As his thoughts spiralled out of control, his panic grew by the minute. He just wanted it to stop. Hegasped when Elena put her hand on his shoulder. Alex tried to pull away, but couldn't. He turned to Elena. Her hands trembled slightly. She was still afraid, but this time, Elena wasn't trying to get away from him. Her gaze was resolute.
“Don't push me away.”
Was he ever going to stop screwing things up when she was around? His eyes burned. Elena took him in her arms and he burst into tears. How had he managed to sink so low? Shame left a bitter taste on his tongue.
“You’re okay. I’m with you.”
Her heartbeat was strong and calm. Despite the pain in his limbs, Alex clung to her. He followed the rhythm of her breathing and waited for the panic to dissipate. Elena stroked his hair, softer than ever. Maybe when she was around, he didn't have to pretend to be okay.
“One day, my father was more violent than usual and pushed my mother,” she confessed. “Mom couldn't get up. I don't know if you've heard, but at the time I couldn’t speak. I was freaked out, so I called Jade to come and help us. I wasn't sure if a sound would come out of my throat when I called her, but my voice came back. Since then, it's always Jade who looks after us whenever anything happens.”
Alex moved away slightly so he could look her in the face. Elena smiled at him. She must have been an angel in another life.
Today, more than ever, he was grateful to Maura for putting him back on Elena's path. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Maybe you'll feel better in my presence if I'm more open with you?”
Maybe he needed to open his heart, too. There was no way someone as perfect as her would put up with his bullshit without knowing why. But Alex was terrified. He hadn't opened his heart to anyone since...
“Don't feel you have to tell me anything just because I shared a piece of my life. That's not how it works.” Elena dabbed his cheeks and eyes with a tissue, avoiding any wounds.
“But you want to know what happened.”
“True, but just because I want to know doesn't mean I have to know.”
Since when was she so docile? Unless he'd misjudged her? “Since when are you so understanding?”
She laughed. He was relieved she wasn't taking it the wrong way.
She continued to run her fingers through his hair. “In truth, I'm not the type to meddle in other people's affairs.”
Alex raised an eyebrow and immediately regretted it. It hurt. Elena, who didn't want to meddle in other people's lives? Yeah right. “Are you sure we're talking about you here?”
“I know I insisted a lot with you, but that was only because you know everything about me, and I know nothing about you. I just wanted the situation to be more balanced, but insisting wasn't right.”
“You wanted to know more about me simply out of principle, not because you were curious?”
