Page 64 of Tell Me Everything
My voice cracked. How was I supposed to finish that question? The answer frightened me. Alex shook his head, still smiling. Why was he trying to be strong, even at a time like this?
“I wasn't raped, if that's what you meant. I was found in time. My story isn't as bad as other people's.”
Something snapped inside me. This wasn't right. “Stop.”
“Elena, I'm fine. It happened eight years ago.”
“Don't you dare say that. Even if he didn't actually rape you, this person manipulated you, took advantage of your naivete to abuse your trust, andtouchedyou. If he'd had more time, he would have. So don't say that what you suffered wasn't that bad. You have as much right to suffer as anyone else.”
I'd hit home. His breaths quickened, his eyes unable to focus. Without thinking, I hugged him closer to my heart. I could feel his pain, and it was making me sick. If I could take some of that pain away from him, I would. Alex clung to me like a lifeline, and my heart cracked. I stroked his hair, waiting for him to recover. After a while, Alex lay on his back and put his head on my thighs to look at me. His eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“You're right, I'm not fine at all. I thought I was doing okay, but seeing him again made me realize that it was an illusion Iforced myself to believe in. Sometimes I can't help wondering what would’ve happened if they'd found me ten minutes later. I can't even imagine how much it would screw someone up when you see how much this destroyed me.”
His voice croaked. Alex took my hand and placed it over his heart. It was beating so fast that I feared it would fly out of his chest.
“You see, Vincent was a person I admired and considered one of my closest friends. What he did... he was turning me into his personal slave, an object to satisfy his messed-up desires. I wasn't hurt physically, but that doesn't take away the fear and emotional pain. Though it’s been years, I still wake up some nights because I'm terrified. It's a stain I can't erase, and sometimes I feel like it’s going to suffocate me.”
What could I possibly say? I couldn't make his trauma go away. I just hoped I could help him as he had helped me, and I prayed he could overcome his past and be happy. For real this time.
“I'm so sorry you had to go through all this... But he can't hurt you anymore.”
Alex raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that? Are you going to protect me?”
Would I be able to? One thing was certain: I would do everything within my power. “Of course!” I exclaimed, tensing my arm muscles. “Look at my biceps. Aren't you impressed by my physique?”
For the first time since he'd opened his heart to me, his smile was sincere, and I could breathe again.
“Yes, I feel so safe now.”
I rolled my eyes, but deep down I felt reassured. If he could make jokes, that was a good sign. “What I mean is, he hurt you then, but you're a man now. A physically very strong person. No one can hurt you like that. And even if he tries, I won't let him getanywhere near you.”
“You’re adorable.”
Not the answer I was expecting. I pouted. “I'm trying to be strong and confident here...”
Alex placed a kiss on my fingers. “You are. But you’re also adorable, and I love how protective you are.”
“You know I'd move heaven and earth for you, don't you?”
I hoped he understood that I was sincere. I loved him so much. At this point, I would do anything for him.
“I know.”
***
Ever since Alex had told me about his past, he had acted like a different person. Okay, this might be a slight exaggeration, but things had changed. We'd become even closer, something I'd thought impossible. There was no longer that wall around his heart. Now that I belonged there, he didn't want me to leave. It was nice to be accepted and loved, especially by someone I loved just as much.
“Do you really have to go back to that house? I don't like leaving you alone here.” Alex looked at my house as if the devil himself were there.
Maybe he wasn't wrong.
“I don't have another option. Where would I go?”
“You could stay at my place.”
I liked the idea, no matter how unrealistic it really was. “I can't stay at your place forever.”
“Why not? My mother adores you.”
