Page 46 of Cookie: Part One
The Passion:That dick doe… Bonus: Dimitri and Nadya…
The Unexpected Adventures:My life, pre-Misha, was a careful construction of routines and planned events. Now? Well… life is fun and random, but I don’t mind it… but what comes after the two weeks are over?
I pause, looking at the list. It feels like a solid but still lacking list, though I can see why someone would be drawn to this… but I tap the pen against the paper.Time for the counterargument.
The Cons
The Whirlwind Effect (Lack of Boundaries):Misha wants what he wants when he wants it how he wants it… he takes me without fail and regard… actually this is a Pro…
The Commitment Shuffle:this nigga is not only engaged but fucking his cousins… bruh…
The Emotional Drain:He’s my ex’s biological cousin and if I’m honest there’s stillsomethingthere… and I don’t know how to navigate that… I am falling in love with Misha… not that Ihavefallen for Misha but… Alik…
I lean back, letting out a long, slow breath, looking at the paper. After looking through my options, I think anyone with half a brain can see that I should leave this man and his people alone… but I love theperson I amwhen I am with them.
This me is brighter, well fucked, and a little bit happier. But the other truth is that I am also perpetually stressed, sometimes anxious, and always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I know I can’t break it down like a mathematical equation. Love isn’t about the number of bullet points. It’s about whether I can tolerate the price of admission for the privilege of the main event.
Case and point: Is it okay to keep seeing a man who’s engaged because I feel the most alive in his arms?
The question hangs in the air of the pristine halls, the silence thankfully not demanding an answer that I’m not quite ready to give.
I stand, shoving the paper, pen, and my phone into my pocket as I continue walking down the halls.I’ll think about it later…
It’s all too much. I glance at another stained glass window, this time enjoying the way the colors play across the floor. On God, I could stay in this house for the full two weeks and explore this mansion every single day, andstillhave more to see. Every turn is a new hallway, a new sculpture, a new secret.This place feels magical.
I’m halfway down the main corridor when Dimitri steps out into the hall and he stops dead in his tracks, surprised.
“Pechenye?” he tilts his head. “I zhought you vere going out vit Alik and Pyper?” he asks, his eyes roaming my face.
“Oh… uhm… I opted out.” I smile, feeling awkward because he and I have never been alone together.
“I see,” Dimitri chuckles before he takes a slow step closer. “Zhen do you vant company? I just so happen to be free.” He smirks and my heart skips a beat and I heat up.Girl, what the hell is wrong with you? Re-damn-lax!
“Oh I w-would love that.” I nod and so does he, holding out his hand and I look at it for a second.
