Page 57 of Cookie: Part One
“Why?” I feel my heart pounding so fast my body shakes, unable to bring myself to let it go.
“Connie, vhat you h?—”
“We have arrived,” the driver cuts her off, and I rush out of the car, upset, following behind her as she leads me to a boutique where we are led into a private room.
The fluorescent lights of the boutique buzz overhead, and I’m trying to focus on the fabric in my hand. It’s a soft, midnight blue silk, but my mind keeps circling back. Pyper is already holding a few items, humming a little tune as she examines a rack of sequined tops. She looks completely carefree, which just makes the knot in my stomach tighten.
“Pyper, wait up a second,” I say, dropping the silk back on the hanger. I try to keep my voice even, but the edge is there. She turns, one eyebrow arched in that familiar, elegant way.
“You see somezhing you like?”
“Yes… no… I mean… I… I need to ask you aboutAlikagain,” I start, stepping closer to her, trying to lower my voice despite the quiet background music. “I know you guys have been telling me that he’s just ‘under the weather,’ but that’s not it, is it?”
Pyper smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes as she holds up a pretty camisole.
“Connie, zhis vould look stunning on you. I zhink I’ll buy it,” she attempts to change the subject with a casualness that’s grating, but I don’t let her.
“Please, Pyper. Just tell me what’s going on. I understand it’s a sensitive topic what happened back at the house…” I swallow. “Is it serious? Is it…cancer?” I whisper the last word, feeling the blood drain from my face just saying it.
“Look, it’s nozhing for you to vorry about. He had a little flare-up of anold condition. He just needs rest and quiet. You knov Alik. He’s stubborn. He doesn’t vant everyone hovering. Zhat’s vhy he came back to Russia,” she whispers dismissively.
My hands are shaking, and I shove them into the pockets of my jeans.
“But that’s exactly it! Flare-up of what? I don’t know what ‘old condition’ you’re talking about!Why don’t I know?” My voice cracks, and I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks. “We talk abouteverything, but I can’t shake this feeling that something is fundamentally, terrifyingly wrong, and I should be included in this. Ishouldknow.”
God, I sound insane.I think to myself, staring at the polished floor.I sound real damn entitled right now… I have some got damn nerve. Who am I to demand information about his health?I’m in a relationship withthreeof Alik’s family members, for Christ’s sake, knowing this man is still in love with me and yet, here the hell I am thinking Ishouldbe privy to information about a man I turned down.
But my heartaches, a sharp, hollow feeling, and I wonder…why do I feel likeAlikshould be mine, too?Why do I suddenly crave the presence of the one person who I’ve pushed away? Why was that visceral hunger I felt between them two? And the pain in my head and heart?I need answers!
Pyper rests a hand on my shoulder, and I can feel it shaking.
“Connie, you have enough on your plate. Let us vorry about Alik. He’s fine, truly. He just needs a minute.” She squeezes my shoulder and walks toward the jewelry counter.
I stand there, frozen, the bright lights suddenly too much. All I want is to be out of this store. I want to crawl into the warm, heavy, comforting embrace ofMisha, Dimitri, and Nadya, have them tell me it’s all fine, and have them stroke my hair until this frantic confusing anxiety fades.
I groan silently, closing my eyes for a split second.Jesus… not me using them as an emotional crutch when all this was supposed to be just sex?Not to mention I’ve practically slept with the entire family this got damn trip… and not me feeningfor Alik again! Ugh, I need to get a grip.I’m starting to sound like a nympho.
I take a deep breath, fighting the urge to ask my questions that I’m sure will ruin the afternoon. I open my eyes and force my legs to move, walking toward Pyper with a smile.
“Okay, Pyper,” I say, my voice steady now, though it’s a lie. “Help me find something ridiculously expensive on your dime so when I pawn it later, I can get a couple bands.” I grin and her eyes light up.
“Nov you’re talking my language! Let’s shop!”
By the time we get back to the house, both of us are dead tired, and we trudge up to my room, dropping the bountiful bags, and flopping to the floor.
“Zhat vas so fun! I love spending my money!” she squeals.
“Shhhiiid, I love spending your money, too,” I laugh, and she gently kicks me.
“Silly girl… but apparently I’m not ze only one buying you gifts.” She smirks, and I sit up, surprised when I see there’s a gift box on my bed. Standing, I go over and smile, mind immediately going to Mikhail or hell even Dimitri or Nadya, and my heart skips a beat…
I pick up the box, flipping it left and right excitedly.
“I wonder what it is…”
“Open it and see!” Pyper comes over and I blush, pulling the silk ribbon, pausing at the tennis bracelet.
“Wow, it’s beautiful… so you th-think Misha or Alik got this for me?” I gap in awe, showing Pyper who turns her lip up at it.
