Page 59 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
“I did not like him,” she said sharply. “Not in a way that makes me want to be courted by him. To marry him! Not that it matters. Not that you care…” Then, in an act that broke Dorian’s heart, she turned her back on him.
Dorian watched his sister for a moment.
Again, was this just last week, he wouldn’t have cared about her objections. At the very least, he would have told her that she was being immature and silly, that rarely did women marry for love, and that such a thing might be found if it was worked on. Honestly, love was the last reason a person should marry.
Only now, with all that had happened, and Dorian could not bring himself to do as he knew he must.
“I understand.” He reached forward and rested his hand on her back. “And I will tell young Nicholas the same.”
Barbara sat up and turned around. “What?”
Dorian smiled. “You do not wish to be pursued by him, then I will not force it.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”
He laughed. “Barbara…” Then he shuffled closer to her, putting an arm around his little sister. “Do you know why I hosted this party?”
“Yes, because you want me to meet –”
“I want you to understand that meeting a man who you might one day call a husband isn’t the death stroke you seem to think it is. I wanted you out of this room, being social, enjoying yourselffor a damn change. And as far as I have seen so far, it has been a resounding success.”
She was looking at him as if she did not know him. “Truly? You… you will not force me…”
“I still expect you to be social this weekend,” he told her. “And there are others here whom I expect you to speak with – and to do so with an open mind.” He raised an eyebrow at her in warning. “But all I want for you is to be happy, Barbara. And I really do hope that you know this.”
“I do, Dorian.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I do.”
Dorian held his sister close, feeling… was it relief? He did not want to admit it, but that she had turned down Nicholas meant that for now at least she was still his to protect. That he still had that purpose for living.
It was wrong of him, he knew. And if he really did love Barbara, he would have forced her to at least consider Nicholas – to give him a chance. But Dorian was struggling with who he was and what he wanted, the changes that were taking place in his life, and if this one thing remaining as it was for a while longer…is that really such a bad thing?
Proof that it was a bad thing found him not five minutes later.
He arrived at the ballroom to find most of his guests already seated and enjoying their breakfast. He stayed back as hewatched them, noting how many of them were husband and wife. Most of these pairings sat together as they ate, spoke with smiles on their faces, and looked happy.
Dorian watched them from the doorway, his mood starting to plummet. How many of these marriages had started because they were forced to do so, and not because they wanted it? How many of those wives had assumed their lives to be over, only to find happiness and even love because they had persisted and given their marriage a chance?
If he was to guess, he would say that most of them were that way. And his sister… she would likely be the same, once she was convinced to take a husband of her own.
And it is not just her. But my own marriage, a most wretched thing that never stood a chance. But not because we tried and found it unfeasible; rather, because we didn’t.
His stomach sunk with regret… knotted with shame… turned with guilt because Dorian was a hypocrite of the highest order. He thought he was doing the right thing by his sister. But was he? And how could he say otherwise if he was not willing to do the same?
He wanted Barbara to be happy. But he knew too that he was scared to lose her, and that once he did he would lose himself. Just as he had lost Penelope…
“You look rather glum.” Joseph came in behind him. “Is it for the same reason as me?” He laughed and rested his handon Dorian’s shoulder. “Too much whiskey had, and not nearly enough sleep to follow.”
“I just came from speaking with my sister,” Dorian said sullenly.
“Oh? And where is the woman of the hour?”
“It was concerning Nicholas Wood,” Dorian sighed. “He asked permission to court her…”
“That’s wonderful!” Jospeh cried, only to catch the look of shame on Dorian’s face. “And yet that morose expression tells a different story.”
“She said she was not interested and I…” He grimaced. “I agreed with her. I even told her that she was not expected to meet anyone unless she wanted it, feeding into the notion that she needed to fall in love before she made her choice.”
Joseph pulled back. “You… why on earth would you do that?”
