Page 134 of Wild Card
Within seconds, he’s there. In the flesh. Right in front of me.
Reaching for me. Yanking me into his arms as I wrap my own around his neck. He crushes me against him so tight, it takes mybreath away. I don’t even mind. It’s the perfect reminder that I’m alive.
I breathe him in. And while the air smells like smoke, he smells like him.
He smells like the forest, like trees and amber and gasoline and home.
“I’m so sorry,” I cry as he buries his face in my neck.
He says nothing, but I feel his head shake as he holds me in a vise grip.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” I chant, not knowing what else to tell him.
He still says nothing, but I feel wetness on my neck, a warm trickle rolling down the slope toward my shoulder.
A punch to the gut.
I squeeze him back tighter, pressing myself closer, rubbing my cheek against him. Wishing I could somehow merge myself with him right here and now, undo the hurt and fear I caused.
“Bash. I wasn’t… I’m just…” I pull back, wanting to find the right thing to say to him but not knowing where to start.
Tears have clumped his lashes together, and they trickle down his roughly hewn cheeks and freshly shaven jaw.
He looks me over with watery eyes, tracing me as though he’s checking for any injury. His hands follow too, fluttering over my arms and across my shoulders. Like he needs proof.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I say. “I’m sorry, but I’m good. I promise.”
God, watching him look so distraught is breaking my heart, and I need to explain myself. “I didn’t know. There was no blockade in place when I went up last night. I thought I was?—”
“Gwen.” The way he says my name stops me in my tracks. It’s a plea on his lips, full of so much emotion. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I was out of line, overtired, and not myself. I should neverhave let that all get in my head. I’m just terrified of fucking this all up.”
I meet his dark, imploring eyes. He grips my shoulders and gives me a gentle shake, as though checking to see if I’m truly standing before him. His head shakes and his gaze drinks me in. “You’re a fucking wild card. Unpredictable and never what I expect. You scare the hell out of me every damn day. But today more than any of them. Because I thought I lost you.” His voice cracks. So does my heart. “And I love you, and I hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell you.”
My heart thuds and my tears finally fall.
He loves me.
There’s nothing showy about it. It’s not some big declaration, it’s not poetic or flowery, but with him it doesn’t need to be. Everything with him is dressed down. Beautiful in its simplicity.
He swallows and blinks rapidly, trying and failing to hide his emotion. Another gentle shake. “Never scare me like that again.Never.”
Tears tumble over my cheeks as I nod quickly. “I love you too. I do. I have for a long time. And I promise I won’t ever scare you like that again. I promise.”
I’m finally saying the words that have been trapped inside me for I don’t know how long. Words I’ve mulled over but never spent much time analyzing. Maybe because it just seemed too…obvious. Like,of courseI’m in love with him. And of course he’s in love with me. Why else would we be risking it all for a shot at making this thing work?
He sighs in relief and then he’s back to squeezing me. And just beyond him, I see Tripp. Watching from the passenger seat of Bash’s truck, looking pale as a ghost. He makes no move to get out of the vehicle, but he gives me a subtle salute with his hand.
“I love you so fucking much,” Bash rasps against my hair, hands gliding over the back of my head, my spine, as thoughhaving to feel me to know that I’m real. “I didn’t know where you were. You could have died. I could have lost you. And all I could think was the last thing I’d have said to you was that you never stay anywhere for long.I told you to wait for me and then I told you to leave. And I… Gwen, Ineedyou. Like my next breath. It’s… I can’t breathe without you. If you leave for Costa Rica, I’m coming with you. Where you go, I’ll follow. I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together.”
I squeeze him back harder, feeling my own tears as they soak into his shirt. He’d said that in the heat of our argument, and I hadn’t believed him for a single moment. “Okay, but where I want to be is here. With you. I already backed out of that job. I’m staying here. With you. Always. I need you too. That’s why I’m never waitingonyou. I’m livingwithyou.”
A rough sob lurches from his throat, and he buries his face in my neck, letting me hold him as tight as I want.
“You’re my limes, Bash. I’m the tequila. You and me? We’re gonna spend the rest of our lives making margaritas, okay?”
I can tell he’s about to respond when I hear Beau’s voice from behind me. “Ma’am, do you have marijuana plants in the back of your truck?”
Bash pulls back ever so slightly, our watery eyes meeting tenderly as I shrug. “Sorry, I couldn’t leave Maya’s babies behind.”
