Page 120 of Wild Card
He scoffs now, like he doesn’t believe me. “Oh, that’sveryconvenient for you, Bash. Nice try.”
“It’s true.” Gwen’s velvety voice filters from behind me. She steps slightly to the side so she has a clear view of Tripp, but she doesn’t move any closer. “What he’s telling you is true. We did meet first.”
“Oh, well, how cute for you, Gwen. Bouncing from dick to dick, ticking off the family tree like a shopping li?—”
I see red. Every excuse for his behavior flies out the window the minute he spews that venom at her. I reach for him, but Gwen pulls me back. It leaves my hand in the air between us, index finger pointing at him, shaking with rage.
His eyes widen as mine scorch him where he stands. “Finish that sentence and I swear to god not a single thing will stop me from teaching you a fucking lesson, Tripp.”
His head tilts in consideration and I glare at him, holding myself back from starting a brawl with my own fucking kid.
“Oh, a lesson,Dad? You already taught me that you’ll pick some random chick over your own son, so I can’t wait to see what else you’ll come up with.”
“When you act like this, it makes the decision pretty fucking easy,” I bite back.
Tripp looks instantly stricken. Like I’ve laid hands on him when I haven’t. I attempt to soften the blow with “Obviously, we all need to talk about this. But if you think you’re going to stand here and disrespect her while we do, think again.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I supposed to be paying her a ton of respect when she knowingly went after my father?”
I blink at him and lower my hand in defeat, wondering how it must feel to be so sure of yourself. To be so certain that you’re right. So absolute in your own innocence.
I can’t relate.
“Tripp. How could she possibly have known that I was your father when we all know that the story you tell is that your deadbeat dad decided to show back up?”
His red cheeks go pale and he wipes his hand over his mouth as though pulling away a piece of tape that has been silencing him. “That’s what I was told!”
His voice rings through the small studio as my train of thought turns fuzzy. Because what does that mean?
“I spent my entire life being told my dad was some loser deadbeat who didn’t want me. They didn’t pretend Eddie was my biological dad. They told me I wasunwanted. That my dad found out about me and took off. Like that was somehow more palatable. So imagine my surprise when you showed up. Startedtexting me. Taking an interest. That was almost too good to be true. It all felt like one big cosmic joke, one that I was never quite sure was real.”
All the air in my chest leaves in an audibleoof. My palm lands against my sternum as though it can press any shred of oxygen back into my lungs.
“She told you that?” My voice comes out so quiet, so unsteady, and the pounding in my ears is so loud that I wonder if he can hear me at all.
“Yes!” His arms shoot out, frustration spilling from his every movement. “So in the past several months, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my mom is a manipulative liar and that the man who fathered me did actually give a damn, but I missed years with him because of whatever fucked-up family dynamic I have. I tried to tell you. Iwantedto tell you. But the timing was never right. Now I find out you’re…what, dating my ex?”
He barks out a disbelieving laugh, raking his hands through his hair as he looks around the room like this is a fever dream. “Might as well air it all out now. Because nothing could be more twisted than that.”
Nausea roils in my stomach, and Gwen squeezes my hand in a steady rhythm. It feels as though the pressure of her touch is the only thing keeping my heart beating right now.
Silence swells between us as my mouth opens and closes, searching for words that just won’t come. The unfairness of how this all played out guts me. I feel like I’ve been left dangling upside down.
“Tripp, I’m… Fuck.I’msorry. If I had known?—”
“You wouldn’t have fucked myex-girlfriend?”
I straighten, because as messy as this all is, there’s a part of me that wouldn’t have done a single thing differently. I do feel bad for him, but I can’t undo this either.
“Listen to me. I know what kind of person I am. I know what happened between your mom and me. And you have to believe me when I tell you that if I had known you existed, I would have been in your life from day one. But I wasn’t given that choice. It’s not fair. To you or to me. The first night I met Gwen was on the heels of meeting you for the first time. I told her all aboutyouand how badly I wanted to be a part of your life.”
“That’syour takeaway from all of this?” Tripp replies, looking absolutely shocked.
“Things are rarely as simple as they seem. I can’t explain the choices your mom made. I don’t condone them. But I won’t spend a lifetime paying for them either. She’s already taken enough from me. I want a relationship with you. That’s true. But I’m not giving up Gwen. That’s also true. I’ve spent far too long missing out on things that make me happy, and I’m not choosing between these two things. It might take time, and I know we’re going to need to have more conversations, but I just… I’m not giving her up, Tripp. I’m sorry.”
A weight lifts from my shoulders as I finally admit it out loud. It’s a relief to face the reality of what I’ve known for months now.
I choose Gwen.
