Page 167 of Remiss
“Fair enough,” Momma said.
They were silent until another question popped into Rebel’s head.
“Does Daddy feel the same way about you?”
“Yes, love,” Momma answered without hesitation. “Girl to girl? The way a man looks at you tells you a lot.”
Unsure how to respond, Rebel nodded. “Should I forgive Daddy?” she whispered.
“No matter what happens between Christopher and I, he’s still your daddy, sweetheart. He loves you.”
“But he has his sons. Even CJ sides with him. You, me, and Jo need to stick together.”
“I agree. If you stay angry with Christopher, then when we do need to band together, it won’t be effective.” Momma cocked her head to the side. “Wouldyoupay attention to someone suddenly giving you the cold-shoulder if they barely spoke to you in the first place? Or someone who screams at you when all they do is talk to you with hostility?”
“I’m not like Daddy,” Rebel said with a little sniff.
Momma’s loud laughter drew giggles from Rebel.
“You’re exactly like Christopher, love. More than anyone except Diesel.”
Rebel frowned. “That makes me feel creepy.”
“How so?”
Heat rose into Rebel’s cheeks and her shoulders slumped. “Saying Diesel and I are both like Daddy makes me feel gross. It…it feels like we’re both Daddy’s children. It makes me ashamed. It’s like I’m broken and don’t deserve to love or to be happy if I feel that way about my brother.”
“Listen to me, Reb.” Momma grabbed Rebel’s hand and squeezed. “You cannot deny your feelings no matter what. If you love Diesel, you love Diesel. You shouldn’t be ashamed of that once you’re legal. It’s dangerous now. Especially for him. Do you want your daddy to kill him? Do you hate Diesel that much?”
Rebel burst into tears again. “Of course not. I just…Daddy wouldn’t kill Diesel after all that’s happened! I don’t believe that no matter what.”
“Sweetheart, please stop underestimating Christopher, especially now. He’s on edge. He will kill Diesel even quicker.Don’t put his life in danger just because you want to stake your claim. You will lose him permanently. Once Christopher kills him, there will be no turning back. He will bedead, Reb.”
“Then I’ll hate Daddy forever!”
“Would that be fair? Everyone has repeatedly warned you to leave Diesel alone because you’re underage. You can’t blame your daddy’s reaction when he’s already given you fair warning.”
“But—”
“You said when you turned eighteen you wanted to kill Torie. Would you say that was fair warning?”
“Yes, but—”
“No buts. In life, you have to play fair even when you’re outside the boundaries of rules, Rebel.”
“I don’t understand. Fairness is unnecessary if you don’t have rules.”
Smiling, Momma tangled her fingers through Rebel’s hair. “It’s okay, my little love. You’ll understand eventually. Just trust me to guide you.” She searched her face. “You do trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course, Momma,” Rebel said without hesitation, so confused. She had a lot of questions but she didn’t want Momma to think she was a small child. Momma spoke to Rebel without censure and without making her feel stupid. “What should I do about Diesel?”
“What do you want to do about him?”
“I-I miss him.”
Momma nodded. “I miss Christopher.”
“But it’s…it’s different. I feel…you and DaddyraisedDiesel. So much so that he’s just like Daddy. Meaning I’m like both of them.” A hysterical little sob escaped her. “I don’t know what’s grosser. Wanting to marry my brother or wanting a man like my father.”
