Page 181 of Remiss
His death would be a favor to Rebel and Jana. It could be the sacrifice his mother deserved after he’d hated her for so many years.
Jana tugged his head down and thumbed away tears he didn’t realize were falling. He wanted to tell Jana what had happened, but he couldn’t get the words together in his head.
For some reason, Tabitha rose in his head. Her tears when he’d seen her at the condo and Bash’s demand that Diesel give her six months. He was such an arrogant, hateful fuckhead, he’d risked Jana just to have his fucking way. He’d hurt Tabitha…
Hurt people hurt people.
Even Torie, as fucked up as she’d been, was his victim. Women had been his enemy because of his mother. He saw her in every one of them.
Jana pressed her lips to his. He didn’t respond.
“Fuck me,” she said, still not asking him questions. “Use me. I don’t mind.”
He caressed her cheek. “You should, sweetheart. You deserve better. You deserve the world at your feet. To be showered in diamonds and silk.”
Licking his tears away, Jana smiled and dropped to her knees, her fingers going to his zipper.
Before she pulled out his cock, he covered his fly with his hand. “Jana, I would only be using you. There would be no emotion. No anything.”
“Sometimes we need a mindless fuck.” She gazed at him through the sweep of her lashes. “I want to swallow your cum.”
He shouldn’t give in. He wasn’t even fully erect. And…he didn’twantJana. But she was still fragile, still trusting him to make everything right for her. Slowly, he dropped his hands and allowed her to free his member.
She licked the head, tongued his slit, sucking him until he hardened and swelled in her warm mouth. He didn’t want to close his eyes, afraid of who he’d see.
Afraid he was just like his father.
He started to sob and jerked his cock out of Jana’s mouth. She sat back on her haunch, staring at him in wide-eyed shock as he put himself to rights.
“Do…do y-you want to talk about it?” she asked, when he controlled himself a moment later.
“No.”
She swallowed. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No. It’s all me.”
“Then talk to me.”
“I need a hit,” he blurted, the truth and the first thing that came to his mind.
“I do, too,” she admitted. “Sometimes, fucking diverts my attention.” Guilt flashed across her face. “Forget I said that. I’m not trying to make you jealous.”
“I’m not.” Allowing herself to be used in exchange for drugs angered him as did fuckheads forcing her to their bidding. He’d never gotten jealous. “I need to get to the office.”
“Even if I want a fuck?”
He tipped his head back, then met her hopeful gaze. “Take your panties off and bend over the sofa.”
Smiling, she scrambled to her feet and shimmied out of the white cotton. At least they weren’t granny panties.
Ass in the air, she rotated her hips. Diesel walked to her, spit in his hand and rubbed her pussy, but she was already wet. He took out his cock and buried himself inside her, grunting at how deep this angle allowed him to go. Wanting to get her off as fast as possible, he inserted his hand between them and found her clit, gently stroking even if his thrusts were not.
Her cries rose in his head, the slickness from her pussy sliding down her thighs.
“I’m coming,” she gasped. “Pinch my clit.”
He followed her orders and she screamed, soaking his hand, his cock, and her thighs. He pulled out of her and went tothe bathroom to wash up, his cock hard, heavy, and unsatisfied. He hadn’t come.
