Page 66 of Remiss
“I feel like such an asshole, Dad,” CJ croaked. “I’ve been wondering why Mom pushed me away, but listening to Axel, I realize I pushed her away.”
“Join that assfuck club, son,” Dad responded morosely. “I’m the biggest fuckin’ one. Megan gave me chance after fuckin’ chance. I just…she comin’ back.”
Suddenly, CJ realized Dad wasn’t as certain as he pretended. Mom’s departure threw him for a loop and left him drowning.
“Dad, you know Uncle Johnnie has to die?” Ryder said into the silence. “Just like Uncle Cash and Uncle Digger. They hurt Mom, too. No matter what she says about having Uncle Mort, Uncle Val, and Uncle Stretch in her corner, she really didn’t. They would always be loyal to you first.”
“Not Uncle Mort,” CJ argued. “Especially if it wasn’t strictly club related. He’d find a way to protect Mom. She really does have him.” He hung his head. “When she didn’t have none of us.”
Leaning back, Dad closed his eyes. “But even Mort didn’t tell her about Rule and the rectory. She asked him and he told her to talk to me.”
Deafening silence followed Dad’s disclosure.
Ransom sat on one of the bar stools and began to cry, while Diesel clenched his jaw and Ryder blinked rapidly. Dad stared at the ceiling.
All of the hot emotions that had run through CJ deserted him, leaving him hollow inside.
“Suppose Mom doesn’t come back?” Ryder said, his voice trembling.
“Megan comin’ back,” Dad said flatly. “She love me. I just…fuck!” He blew out a heavy breath and straightened, then shook his head and began to laugh, ignoring the tears sliding down his cheeks. “That lil’ pain in the ass motherfucker put me in my motherfuckin’ place, ain’t she?” Pressing his lips together, he wiped the tears away and heaved in a breath. “Axel right, Ryder. We can’t kill those three fuckheads cuz of your aunts and Mort. And Stretch, too. Ain’t meanin’ I ain’t beatin’ the fuck out of Cash on fuckin’ sight. Befuckinsides, I need Johnnie around for right now.”
“But why?” Ryder insisted.”
“Because–” Dad snapped his mouth closed, glanced away, before meeting Ryder’s gaze and shrugged. “Club business, son.”
Ryder’s eyes widened, then he nodded. “Oh, right. I’m not old enough to join so I don’t need to know club business.”
“Yeah.” Dad looked at CJ. “Don’t blame your ma for leavin’.”
“I don’t,” he said quietly. “I just wish I could tell her how much I love her and miss her.”
“You will, boy. She comin’ back,” he said for the thousandth time. “I think I’m gonna pick up that blue diamond sooner than October. And I’m gonna plan an anniversary trip for me and her. She wanted to go to a cabin. Not the one Tabitha was sendin’ us to, but another one. By the time she come home, I’m gonna have it all planned.”
For the first time in hours, Dad sounded hopeful. He firmly believed Mom would return.
CJ prayed Dad’s instincts hadn’t been compromised by stress and he would be proven right. If Mom didn’t return soon, CJ didn’t know what he’d do.
A pussy lockout…
A year on the fucking sofa…
A fuckingbeatdown…
Anyfuckingthing…everyfuckingthing…was better than the hell Christopher had been living in for the past twenty-three hours. He’d give his right toe and left foot, his left nut and cock tip, his tongue, his hand,anything, for Megan to walk through the door.
He’d made it easier for her by going to the club, hoping for ameal, but nothing was cooked and not one girl was there for the dozens of brothers.
His boys trudged to their table and sat with Rory and Devon. Neither Johnnie or Cash were there. The moment Grant saw CJ, he stood from where he sat next to Mort and headed to him.
Val looked surprisingly calm while Knox rested his elbow on the table, chin in hand.
“Where’s Fia?” Christopher asked when Potter brought alcohol to the table. “Any of the girls?”
“They decided to throw in their lot with Meggie, Outlaw,” Potter responded. “She has them running scared. Fia fucked with Rebelagain, and that pissed Meggie off so much she threatened Fia and Diesel.”
“Diesel?” Christopher replied. His boy hadn’t come to the club. He’d gone back to his room, as close to losing his shit as the rest of them. “What the fuck he did?”
Potter’s throat worked. “I–”
