Page 33 of The Biggest Secret
He had to be the best big brother. I watched as he slowly began to put himself in charge of everything his siblings did or needed. It was like they couldn’t make a move without consulting him first. The co-dependency he manufactured between them all was hard to stomach.
I couldn’t stand to see him stress himself out over their bad decisions, decisions that had no bearing on his life. I tried talking with him, but he’d brush me off. So, I would back away from him and our relationship. I’d immerse myself in work and not answer his phone calls. It’s why I’d leave. I’d go see my sister for a few days. His need to control was too overwhelming.
So, I did what I could do to control the situation. I bailed time and time again. I don’t think he understood my reasoning, we never talkedabout it. We fought about his time and where he was spending it, but bailing on him was my immature way of making him realize he can’t control me and doesn’t have to maintain control over everything. He doesn’t have to be in charge. We are capable of living our lives on our own.
His take charge attitude with his siblings rectified itself when they began forcing their own lives to be front and center. When they stood up to Adam, things evened out. Yes, Adam still checks in and does everything they ask. Heck, he does things they don’t ask. I don’t know how the last two years have been, but I do see the changes around the family. Jackson made his move. Tom made his move.
Billy, well, Billy is always making moves. That guy. Maybe Adley should work her magic on him.
We’re still sitting in comfortable silence before I break it.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“Is it weird that this feels normal? Physically being here with you.”
“Physically was the only thing we were good at all the time,” he smirks and I nudge his shoulder. He continues, so quietly I almost miss it, “I missed you.”
“You missed me physically?” I question with a slight tone, trying to diffuse this moment that he quickly turned heavy.
“Well, yeah,” he says sheepishly. “I missed all of you.” His eyes flare and he wets his bottom lip.
Oh, fuck.
“I missed you, too. And I’ll say I’m sorry once again, even though it’s just words.” I take a deep breath. “You know the one thing Dad taught me,leave them before they leave you. He wasn’t a father, and I had no right taking anything he did or said as gospel. Of course, as I got older and my responsibilities changed, I realized only I could break that generational curse.”
I don’t want to bring up Grace right now. I have to tell him what she said, and I need to know the truth from him. I know at some point I have to come to terms that they were together while we were apart. That she waited and moved right in on him the minute I gave her room.
“Look at us communicating.” I lean forward and place my wineglass on the coffee table in front of us. Then I sit back sideways on the couch, my knee touching the back, and I face him. “So, now what?”
He looks nervous, which is uncharacteristic for him, but continues, “So, my brothers had the idea that I should date you. We should, you know, get to know each other again.”
“Yeah? Taking advice from them these days? That’s a change.”
He raises a brow at my sarcasm, but widens his legs, touching my knee in the process. That was a habit he did when he began to get turned on. It was like he needed more room to grow, if you catch my drift.
And grow he did.
God, everything this man does is sexual. I almost forgot just how much I loved his body near mine.
“So, yeah I think it’s a good idea. I figure we should go out, talk, see how we’re going to make this work.”
Focus, Chelsea Jo. What did he just say?
“Wait. Make what work? Just the other day you told me you didn’t know if you could do ‘us’.”
“Yeah, but now I think we should. That’s my son. I need to be here for him.” He sits up, perching on the end of the love seat, placing his beer next to my wine glass.
“You can still be here for him without being with me.”
“That may have worked for you for the last two years, but it’s not going to work for me.”
His dig hits the mark.And it hurts.
“Adam—”
“No, Chelsea, we have to be a family. It’s what’s expected.”
