Page 24 of Everything Is Yours
“It’s okay, Cody. You weren’t giving him some revelation about yourself I don’t already know. What can I say? I feel sorry for you buddy because it’s never going to happen; you and Lily.”
I think had I been completely sober and I hadn’t just been intimate with Lily, he may have gotten a completely different reaction, but in a weird way I was kind of glad we were revisiting that night. It gave me a chance to clear the air before their band, XrAid’s, upcoming tour.
Cody wandered to the door and hesitated. He turned and looked back at me, and his eyes were glazed from all the booze he’d consumed.
“Alfie, most guys would have fucked me over for what I’ve told you. Guess you have bigger balls than them.”
I snapped the water bottle open and took a long draw of the icy liquid then stared pointedly back at him.
“I already fucked you over when she decided she was mine, dude. I’m not going to kick a man when he’s down, that wouldn’t be a fair fight. You accepted Lily’s decision gracefully, so don’t do anything to change my judgment on that and we’re all good. The sooner you realize Lily’s never going to be back on the market, the sooner you can learn to move forward, buddy. Now, I don’t want to bring the tone of the weekend down but I have to say this since we’re putting it all out there tonight. You ever abuse your position with her and cross the line, you’ll find out just how big my balls are, Cody. We clear on that?”
Cody stood stock still, and I could see him digest what I’d just said, then he swallowed hard and nodded.
“Crystal, Alfie. Lily’s off limits. I’ve always known that. I’d never act on my feelings. I’m not stupid. I see the bigger picture in this as well. Not only would I lose the valued friendship I have with her, and you for that matter, I’d lose the guys in XrAid if I fucked that up.”
“Goodnight, Cody. This conversation never happened and tomorrow we can all go out and have some well-earned fun.” Cody turned and walked out of the room.
Life with a band on the road can throw many temptations in your pathway, and it became insane at times when we all got stir crazy. Especially being around each other all the time. The flip side was that it got pretty lonely at times too. Lily and I didn’t want to be apart, so we planned for me to travel with her for a while. I wanted to write new material for my band, Crakt Soundzz’s, new album, and what better way than to constantly hang around the one woman who inspired me.
Of any man I had ever come across, Cody was the one I regarded outright as a potential threat to our relationship. If Lily and I weren’t as tight as we were, I’d never have left her alone with him. Cody was a nice guy. But I didn’t trust he’d always be able to curb his feelings for Lily without sharing them with her. Knowing he still felt the same about her made me certain I’d made the right decision to go on tour with them. Seven weeks is a long time, and it wasn’t that I didn’t trust Lily. I just didn’t want to be without her.
A few moments later, I heard the main cabin door close. Jack turned to look at me, and I thought he was going to have plenty to say about the conversation he’d just heard. When he drew in a deep breath, I was ready for an ear bashing about how shitty I’d just treated Cody.
“Alfie I don’t love Lily the way you or he does. I need you to know that. Once, when we were teenagers I thought I did. And, there were times when I was confused and wondered if my feelings for her ran past our mutual affection. Those feelings were so strong sometimes that I thought I had fallen in love with her. As soon as I fell for Mya, I knew the difference. I’m not in love with Lily.”
“So why do you feel the need to tell me that?” I asked as I wandered over to sit on the sofa opposite him.
He shook his head and shifted in his chair so that his body was facing me and put both feet on the floor.
“I just want to say it once and for all so that you can strike me off your list. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you sit around, quietly sizing up every man in the room when Lily is present. It must be difficult to watch her have that much attention. I imagine it’s quite an alien position to be in, for a guy like you. I mean almost every hot looking woman on the planet and then some, lust after you, yet the one woman you want is also wanted by so many other men.”
At first I thought he was trying to get a rise out of me but I realized this was a serious conversation.
“Listen carefully when I tell you this, Alfie. Lily loves you beyond all doubt. No matter who’s there and who’s looking at her. Sure, they lust after her. But believe me when I say this. She only notices howyoulook at her. She only cares about howyoufeel about her. She only wantsyouto lust after her, wants you to love her because Lily only lovesyou.”
From my perspective, I’d never been insecure with any woman until I met her, but then again, I’d never loved a woman until I loved Lily. Maybe that’s why it was the one part of my life I’d never felt in control of. Fighting for her over such a long time made me realize it didn’t matter how successful or famous I became, it meant nothing without her to share it with.
“Point taken, Jack. You’re the best friend she’ll ever have in her life. I won’t fuck with that. I get it. It’s just sometimes doubt creeps in for me because I’m afraid it’s too good to last, you know?”
Jack smiled and sank back into the cushion.
“Indeed. But none of us know how long forever is, or what shit life will throw at us. Just accept she’s yours, Alfie, and let everything else wash over you. As far as Lily is concerned, everything is yours.”
My respect for Jack rocketed at his mature philosophy about how to live with loving someone as enigmatic as Lily. We shared a quiet moment then he moved to stand, and I followed.
“You never need worry about Cody. Lily probably knows how he feels, but in my opinion he’s inconsequential to what you both have. Give the poor guy a break. He’ll get over her, eventually.”
Jack stepped forward and gave me a tight hug. I felt the sincerity in it and knew that if, God forbid, Lily and I ever hit a rough patch he’d be the intermediary who would bridge a gap between us. If I had any doubts about him, he’d clearly dispelled those with the much needed pep talk he’d given me.
Jack stepped back and smirked again, and I knew instinctively he was going to lighten the mood again.
“I think you have had all the bromance you can take for one night, Alfie Black, super dick… I mean rock star. Snuggle down behind that sweet little body waiting in your bed. Hold her tight, man. I’ve been neglecting mine for far too long with this shit tonight.”
Jack turned, sniggered, and swayed his way down the hallway until he found his door. On the first try, he missed the handle, and that made me chuckle. He caught it on the second attempt and stepped inside. I reached over and turned the lights out before taking Jack’s advice and going back to bed.
Chapter 13 Lobotomy
When I slid under the duvet, I slipped my hand around Lily’s waist. She instantly turned over in my direction and buried her face in my chest with a little grunt. I pulled her closer, my hands on her back and her ass. The smell of her rose shampoo felt like home. It was such an addictive aroma that I inhaled deeply while I squeezed my hands around her.
