Page 18 of Indentured Companion
Vrajan.
I run to my office and collapse into my chair. I cage my head to the desk and weep for Valerie. She is so brave and has such a high pain threshold. I thought she could manage the pain of the feed, but today we have found her limit. I tried so hard to be gentle and quick, but it made no difference. She is being tormented right now because I fed from her, and she doesn’t even want me near her. She ordered me out of her room. I wanted to…hold her. Distract her? Something.Anything.But now she doesn’t want me with her.
Why would she want the monster that gives her such pain by her side? And I am a monster. Not because I’m a Korvis or because this is my natural feeding cycle. But because of the pain she is suffering. Every time she said she knew I couldn’t help it, and I wouldn’t hurt her if I could, it felt like my heart was being crushed under the weight of my guilt.
Before I can think it through, I’m scrambling my hands over my keyboard to make an encrypted call out of Theskian space and to the Hive. The door to the office auto-locked behind me, and it’s sound proof in here. If I was calling anyone else, I would have replaced my headdress and veil. When the screen lights up to show the bright pink eyes of my mother, I feel a modicum of relief. “M-My Queen.” I sniffle and bow my head to her. I called her private chambers, so I know this is a private conversation. She is visibly alarmed at my lack of facial coverings, and the obvious state of grief I’m in.
“Vrajan?” My mother sits forward at her desk and hurries to remove her vivid yellow headdress as well. Her crown wasn’t on, so she must have been alone in her chambers already when I called. Her long white and black hair is tamed into two long braids, one over each shoulder, and make for defined ridges upon her head. “What has happened? Son?” I cup my mouth and swallow a lump in my throat. “Is it the Theskian council? Has your access to Theskian space been revoked? Have the Anti-K hurt you or your feeding companion? Son, do you need to come home? I’ll bring the whole Hive to get you if you are in danger.” My mother’s diamond pupils are sharpened to near slits and her fangs are visible through the sneer of her thin black lips.
“N-no mother.” I take a handkerchief from my desk draw and try to make myself more presentable. Djeviana is my mother, but she is also my Queen. Calling her in this state has worried her, and my guilt compounds further. “My papers have not been revoked. The Anti-K movement work from the shadows and vandalised a feeding station on the base today, but Miss Stone and I simply returned home to feed instead.”
“…?” My mother looks me up and down and raises a brow. “Are you hurt? Ill?”
“No. But my feeding companion is. She hurts.” I rub my mouth and exhale choppily. I swing my hand from my face when I speak again. “My Queen, Miss Stone is in a lot of pain. Not just during the feed, but all the time.”
“She will likely have some bruising, but the Regen pills boost her recovery and blood replenishment.” My mother folds her arms and narrows her pink eyes on me. “Our trials were extensive. They had to be, for this venture to be approved by the Theskian Council. Anylingeringeffects between each feed is within acceptable parameters.”
“Not to me, they are not.” I avert my eyes and fresh tears well in them. “Her body recovers, of course, and the Regen pills perform as they should, but her pain is…harrowing. It’s getting worse. She is achieving symbiosis with me.” I wipe my black hand across my face and whimper. “She’s awake now. For all of it. The bite, the feed, and the immediate pain and shock her body is in from the feed. With no reprieve.” My mother frowns in sympathy for me.
“That can’t be easy for either of you.”
“No, it isn’t, and she keeps saying she understands that I can’thelpit.” My expression hardens. “Yet, the pain is so bad, she told me to get out of her room. She has neveroncerejected my presence, but as the pain gets more intense and prolonged, the more she tenses and shies from me when it’s time to feed. Now she doesn’t want me near her.” I close my eyes, and need a moment to pick myself up off the floor and proceed.
“We are still experimenting with chemicals that could provide a safe topical anaesthetic after the feed, that doesn’t harm the Korvis.”
“And?” I shrug. “Any success?” I already know the development team in charge of that project have utterly failed. I keep tabs on them specifically so I can give Valeriesomethingto help her.
“Notyet,but-”
“Mother.” I speak softly and bare my heart to her. “With no other alternative to offer, I see no other course of action. I need to tell her I can stop her pain. I need to-”
“No.” My mother answers as my Queen. “Your blockers must remain in place, as per our agreement with the Theskian council when they approved the feeding companion contract.”
“Yes, but we made sure that there was a clause that said if the feeding companion gave legal consent, that-”
“Vrajan, no.” I chew my lips together at my Queen’s sharp tone. “You knowexactlywhy you have your secondary ducts blocked, and what would happen to your feeding companion if you removed the blockers.”
“I do.” I lift my head and hope my mother can see the conviction in my eyes. “Which is why I will explain itallto her, and let it beherchoice.” It must be her decision. If she chooses the pain, then I will do my best to bear seeing her suffer as she is. Knowing she has chosen to do so. Seeing her shake in torment, pale and afraid because of me, when shecouldchoose another path, makes me sick to my stomach. Like I’ve denied her the chance to be pain free.
“You think after one month the Terran will agree to let you fully envenomate her?”
“She might. She might not. But I want it to be her choice, not mine.”
“And what of the consequences that will come from even the first true bite?” My mother’s tone is strained. Like she wants to simply forbid me as my Queen, but as my Mother she needs me to understand what I’m asking. I do. Completely.
“If she accepts them, then-”
“What of you, son?” My mother leans toward her screen and holds me in her pink stare. “If you gave her this choice, and she makes it, areyouprepared for full symbiosis with this Terran?”
“…yes.” I lick at my lips, tasting her blood and my tears mixed together there.
“Permanently?” My mother’s voice lifts at the end with surprise. “You’ve only known this woman a month. You’re truly prepared to make her your-”
“Yes. Gladly, if it would end her suffering.” Thankfully, my mother can’t tell how my stomach flutters nervously at that prospect. “Do I have permission to offer Miss Stone the choice?”
“…no.” I close my eyes and my heart breaks further. “Not yet.” I gasp and look at my mother with shock. She’s smiling sadly at me, like she wishes she could reach over and comfort me. “A month is too soon to risk it all like that, son. You are the Dynast to our people. Your mission is vital to our survival. As your Queen, you need to put that duty first. Even over your own happiness and the comfort of your feeding partner.” My duty weighs heavily on my heart. For the first time in my life, I didn’t even think about my mission or my role in the Hive. I only thought of Valerie. “However, I am not saying you willneverhave my consent to give your feeding companion the choice to have your blockers removed.”
“She suffers so much.” I run a hand back through my white and black hair. “I fear she will reject me completely if this continues with no reprieve.” Not just the feeding process. But my presence as well. The thought of not holding her hand in mine and laughing with her turns my veins cold. “I don’t want her to think of me as the monster that hurts her terribly three times a day. She’s my friend, but she will not remain so if she is forced to suffer as she is with no reprieve.”
