Page 15 of The Incubus's Angel
I don’t allow my feet to hesitate. Simply turn left and stride directly toward number one—The Bandaged Heart.
Pushing open the clinic’s door, I’m greeted by the receptionist, a very enthusiastic monarch faerie.
“Ren! How lovely to see you again,” Katie says, her wings fluttering excitedly behind her. “I don’t think I’ve seen you since Annamae went missing. But I don’t head out to your area much. Got to convince Caoimhín to take me for some tangerine picking again sometime. Anything interesting happening around those parts lately?”
My throat bobs on a hard swallow as I filter through possible responses I can give her but I come up blank.
As if magically summoned by my discomfort, Tilly appears in the reception area and gives me a small but understanding smile. “Morning, Ren. Please don’t feel obligated to answer any of those questions. Doc Calla is in Cape Easton today with Annamae for a check-up, so you’re stuck with me. Why don’t you come through?”
I breathe a subtle sigh of relief. It’s not like I mind Doc Calla knowing about my issues, but it is somewhat easier to talk to Tilly instead of Bodin’s mom. I incline my head at Katie, then wordlessly follow behind Tilly to the office she shares with Doc Calla.
She takes her seat behind the desk and I slide into mine, coiling my tail tightly around my right leg. Words jumble in my brain and I try to find a place to begin, but every time I think I know where to start, it just doesn’t feel right.
Thankfully, Tilly takes mercy on me and starts out easy. “How have you been? I saw you at the ceremony but didn’t have a chance to say hi. Thank you so much for coming to celebrate with us.”
“It was my pleasure. You looked beautiful. And Bodin looked… dapper?” I settle on the most fitting word I can find, not used to describing male orcs in formal claiming ceremony attire.
“He sure did,” Tilly says with a dreamy sigh. She rubs at the tusk marks decorating her neck, and I try not to think about what their postceremony rut was like to still have such visible markings. Or maybe it’s because she’s human that they take longer to heal?
Tilly folds her hands neatly on the desk and asks gently, “You ready to tell me what brings you here today?”
I nod, and search within every single crevice of my soul for the courage I need to verbalize my request.
“I, uhm… Well… I thought about what you said last time. About finding some kind of service, to uhm, help me?” My voice is almost an embarrassing squeak at the end of the sentence, but Tilly gives me a soft smile.
She takes out a notepad and pen and scribbles down something. “There’s this agency that many creatures use, especially females going into heat and needing proper assistance. It’s all very discreet and all participants are thoroughly vetted. Contracts are signed and safety is discussed in advance. This is their website.” Tilly hands me the paper and I glance down at it briefly, memorizing it, before folding it and sticking it in my pants pocket.
“You say they’re discreet? If I went— I wouldn’t really want all of Starry Hill to know,” I say, almost stammering over the words as my entire face flames with embarrassment at just the thought of someone finding out.
“Very discreet,” Tilly promises solemnly. “I bet you haven’t even heard of them.” At her arched brow, I nod. Tilly continues, “They’re originally based in Sussdon, but have a building in Cape Easton, and branches in other cities too. All of their facilities look like normal office buildings from the outside, but inside there are different types of rooms for all creature preferences. So if you want to explore that, there’s the option of going there. However, if you prefer, they can also send someone to you. It’s all about the client’s safety and comfort.”
My eyebrows shoot up and I adjust my glasses as they slide down my nose. “Wow. I didn’t know this was a thing.”
“Totally,” Tilly says, her tone professional and light. “Sex is a natural part of life and there’s a strong need for this kind of service, especially for creatures with a more sexual nature—such as yourself. Now, if you go on the website, you’ll find profiles for partners of any gender you’d prefer, group activities, and you can even apply to become a member of their sex club.”
My jaw almost unhinges. Mentally, I’m not a prude, having spent enough time on the internet for… research. Though, I didn’t know sex clubs were real. “Wow. I don’t… I think…”
Tilly lifts both hands, waving them slightly to thwart that line of thinking. “No worries, Ren. Start slow and take your time. Finding someone who makes you feel safe, someone who you can be yourself with should be a main priority. And you don’t have to rush into full intercourse either. If you find the right partner and can create mutual trust, you can do a little bit at a time. Find what works for you.”
My mind instantly goes to Maisie and how she makes me feel, but I know I should shut that train of thought downquickly. There’s no way I can meet a stranger and have that kind of rapport with them so easily. And they don’t deserve to be compared to the angel of a human that Maisie is.
I scratch at the sweat dotting the back of my neck. “I’ll do some research. Thank you, Tilly.”
She leans forward and tilts her head at me, compassion shining in her eyes. “If you want I can help you look. I haven’t told Bodin anything about what we discussed, but I know he’d also be more than happy to help you pick someone. We’re all here for you, Ren. You just have to ask. And trust.”
My entire chest tightens, having her and Bodin’s support means so much to me. But I’m afraid I might have used up all of my brave today. This is so beyond my comfort zone I can’t even see the safety lines I had drawn. I’ll start by researching the agency myself, get a feel for their systems and the type of services they offer. If I get stuck later, I might have to dig deep and ask for Bodin or Tilly’s help. But not today.
I stare down at my bouncing leg as I ask softly, “You think it really could make me healthier if I had… sex?” I chance a glance at Tilly’s face to find her nodding affably.
“I studied your file and researched quite a few similar cases before I approached you that day and made my original suggestion. According to those cases, incubi—and succubi—who didn’t give in to their sexual natures were more lethargic and their skin tones were dulled. It’s all about your biology. Much in the same way that Annamae, like other dryads, has to spend time in nature to recharge, so does an incubus have to spend timereceivingarousal. Basically, someone else needs tocharge your battery. It’s essentially like a shot of super strong coffee straight to your entire system.”
“That actually sounds nice,” I huff.
“I imagine it is,” Tilly says kindly. Her tone switches to professional nurse practitioner again. “You can feel or sense arousal, right?”
“Yeah…” I say slowly, my shoulders folding in and my heart hammering away at the thought that there’s even more she needs to explain.
Tilly taps the table with a single finger as she seemingly thinks her words through. “I can only imagine how burdensome and even invasive it must feel if you are surrounded by the sexual energy belonging to other creatures, when it’s not freely given to you.” She looks up to confirm her theory and I bob my head, my mouth pulling into a sad line. That’s one of the main reasons I started isolating myself years ago.
