Page 69 of The Lies We Tell
There’s concern in his voice. I hear it. I am tired. This whole fucking thing is starting to grind me down. The club is a marble bowl, and the ATF is a pestle. Davis didn’t give a shit. Weicker is trying to keep the peace. But Vex actually cares.
“You know, I’ve got some shit going on,” I answer honestly.
“Anything I can help with?”
I shake my head. If only he could. “Nah. But thanks for asking.”
“Maybe you should go home. Get some rest.”
I smile. “Yeah, maybe I’ll do that.”
I walk into the bar and look around the room. Halo is getting his dick sucked right there on the sofa by one of the girls who hang around the club. Bates is passed out, head down on a bar table.
King sits alone, so I hop up beside him. “Coffee,” I say to the prospect behind the bar; he pours me a mug of steaming black tar. I take a sip. It’s strong. I smile when I think about Briar on the first day she drank my coffee. And the sneaky woman thinks I haven’t noticed how she got rid of my coffee and replaced it with her own.
King taps his cigarette in the ashtray. “You think I did the right thing?” he asks.
“Depends what thing you’re talking about.”
“Spark and Iris.”
I rub my hand over my face as I consider his question. “Depends on how you look at it. If you start with the culture of the club and the happiness of those in it, then the answer is absolutely yes. The whole purpose of the club is to live outside the law and to live the lives you want, right? And if that’s true, nothing should scare you as individuals or a club. But if you look at it from the perspective of your alliances and rivalries, who knows? I wasn’t around the last time you and the Irish were actively on opposite sides. When your and Clutch’s fathers wove a web that involved both the club and the Irish losing men over a weapons deal. But in balance, I guess what matters most is what do all these men and their happiness mean to you as their president?”
King takes a sip of the whiskey he’s nursing. “That’s a deep question,” he says, shaking it off.
I shrug. “Not really. It should be easy enough to answer. Do you care more about the club or your men?”
“Can you answer that, preacher man? I mean, is it the army that matters or the men?”
It’s a good question. “In truth, it’s the USA or the men. For God and country. You have to believe in the bigger cause. But at a micro level, it’s leave no man behind. It’s the reason the Navy SEALs work. Take Halo. Bet he has stories where they had to do things that conflicted with his beliefs. Like following the bad guys and coming back for their own later.”
King spins in his seat to face me. “You believe both can be important?”
“I have to. But I know for sure that the way you grow and develop loyalty in your men is by showing exactly what you’d do for them if they needed you. By not asking them to do anything you wouldn’t do. What if you fell in love with someone you weren’t supposed to? Imagine the wife of that Los Reyes gang member you killed walks in here and you guys have an immediate connection—what would you do?”
King huffs. “Fuck her sideways, then kill her and bury her next to her husband.”
“You wouldn’t do that.” I’d like to believe he wouldn’t, but I saw what happened to Skylar. His one-time girlfriend colluded with Clutch’s father to kill King and his entire family. Then again, given he’s done something like that, perhaps he’s capable of so much worse now.
“You’d be surprised what I’d do, preacher man.”
“You want to tell me you enjoyed putting a bullet in Skylar’s head?”
“Not talking about her. But I’ll say this. Skylar? Your hypothetical Los Reyes wife? They could be carrying my kid, but if they betrayed me, I’d kill them in a heartbeat. I’m over being betrayed. Dad let me down with his deal to save Cue Ball. Clutch let me down when he fucked my sister. Spark didn’t listen to a firm order to stay away from Iris. And Skylar ... well, you know what happened there. I feel like my control of the club is slipping away from me.”
His words hit as hard as punches. I’m looking at a man who is at his limit of being betrayed. And here I am giving him advice. “You know. I hear all that. How you feel is how you feel. But there’s room for compassion in all those stories. Your dad did a deal to respect the man who saved his life, to save him from death at the hand of the club by moving him somewhere out of reach. Clutch didn’t mean to fall in love with Gwen. But as I understand it, it started before she ever left, in a sweet childhood crush, and has survived him walking in front of a hail of bullets to keep her safe. And Spark has been struggling with everything. You know this. Everyone says he’s not been the same since he got back from Kabul. He’s finally found someone who brought him joy. That shit’s important, King.”
“That shit is pussy.”
I shake my head. Maybe a month ago, I might have had a different take on this conversation. But tonight, with the knowledge Briar is waiting formeat home, I want him to realize everything life can be. “Is it? Is your brotherhoodpussy? ‘Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.’ Romans 12:9-10. Doesn’t that describe the club?”
“Doesn’t the Bible also say thou shalt not kill?”
I nod. “It does. But it also says ‘Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.’ And you’d do that for one another in a heartbeat.”
King tips back the shot placed at his elbow. “Bet you were fucking gold dust in the field, preacher man.”
“I like to think I was.” I was incredible at my job. Just not the one he’s thinking about.
