Page 88 of The Lies We Tell
31
SAINT
Itake a last look around my home, and I swallow deeply at the idea I may never come back. I take in the ledge over the fireplace that I stripped and sanded, and the rug Rae had delivered when she was horrified to learn I didn’t have one. It’s still a pain in the ass to vacuum though. Who knows if the spot in the corner will ever hold a Christmas tree again.
I hope it does.
I dial the one person who can fix it. “Rae-Rae. I need your help. Can I come stay?”
“Of course. When are you getting here?”
“I’m in Portland. It’s like a thirteen-hour drive. Probably fifteen with a couple of stops.” I look at my watch. We arrived in Maine a little after four in the morning and fell into bed. It’s now ten. The sun is shining through the window in the breakfast nook I built myself. “It’ll be late when we arrive. Early hours of the morning.”
“That’s a lot to process. You’re in trouble? Andwe?”
“We are. And her name is Briar. Well, Rose, but her nickname is Briar.”
“You don’t even need to ask. Bring her. I’ll leave a key taped to the roof of the mailbox.”
My gut flips at what I’m going to say next. “My will is up to date and—”
“I can’t have this conversation with you, Ike.” Emotion clogs her throat. It clogs mine too.
“My will is up to date and has everything left to you. All the savings, pensions, and things. But do me a favor. If it comes to it and Briar is still alive, split it with her.”
There’s a pause, the sound of a gentle cough. Then another. “I’ll do what you ask. I better see you for breakfast. Is there someone I should call if you don’t show up by a certain time?”
“I’ll message you a name and number. And some details of the trip. Routes we are taking. We’ll be safe. I promise.”
“Okay. Send me a picture of Briar, just in case.”
“I will. See you tonight. I love you, Rae-bear.”
“I love you too, Ike.”
Briar steps into the room and wraps her hands around my waist from behind me. I feel her forehead press against my back. “I’m sorry you have to leave like this.”
I place my hands on top of hers. “Shit was going to tip one way or another soon. I’d gone too deep. At least, that’s what the ATF will think. That I got into my role too much.”
She steps in front of me. “And is that the truth of it?”
I shake my head. “No. I found something with Spark and King. Found something in myself. I thought I was meant for a life of service. Went into the army to escape home.” I cup her cheeks. “I hate to say it, but I feel more alive now than I ever have. I’m following no one’s rules but my own, and it’s liberating.”
“If I said I get it, and that I understand, does that make us Bonnie and Clyde?”
I laugh at the analogy. “Unlikely, sweetheart. Unless you plan on robbing banks and shit on the way to Michigan.”
“What about Thelma and Louise?”
“Again, unlikely. Not sure how many cliffs there are to drive off between here and Michigan.”
She raises an eyebrow at me. “Niagara Falls.”
“Still no. Let’s go. It’s a solid thirteen hours, even in good traffic.”
“That’s such a dad thing to say. Next, you’ll be asking if I went pee because you don’t want to stop.”
“Briar,” I warn.
