Page 175 of Perfect
“Come on, honey, wake up.” I want her to be alive more than I’ve ever wanted anything, so I press harder against the delicate column of her throat. I know I’m being stupid, but I just want her back.
Deep beneath my fingers, I feel a faint, sluggish pulse.
Everything instantly snaps into sharp focus.
Her chest is barely moving, and my ears are ringing from the gunshots, so I can’t hear if she’s breathing, but that doesn’t mean sheisn’t. Even with my fucked-up hand, I manage to rip enough tape off her face to pull the gag out of her mouth, but she doesn’t even react.
“I’ve gotyou, sweetheart, just hang on for me,” I beg rapidly. I try to be gentle as I roll her to the side, and she’s completely unresisting. At least one shoulder is dislocated, and her wrists are handcuffed, raw and bloody beneath the metal, and I lay her down gently before I tear through Danny’s clothes looking for the keys.
“Everything’s going to be okay, sweetheart.” I unlock her wrists and move her arms to her side gently before I rip my bloody flannel off, ignoring the pain in my left side as I jerk my arm free. I wrap her in the shirt to try and get any amount of warmth into her before I pull her from the bed and into my arms as best as I can.
“Please fucking stay with me, Alex. Don’t leave me, okay?” She’s like a rag doll, absolutely limp in my arms, and I take care of getting her out of the cabin, snatching the keys to Danny’s rental car off the coffee table as I go.
Now that some of the adrenaline has worn off, I’m starting to move slower, starting to feel the pain from the gunshot wounds and the snapped ribs and the deep cut on my right hand, but none of that matters. Getting Alex to the fucking hospital matters. The hospital is twenty minutes away, but she doesn’t have twenty minutes.
I don’t know if she even has ten.
“Stay with me, honey. Everything is going to be okay if you stay with me, Alex, I fuckingpromise. Ipromise, okay?” Alex doesn’t even register me as I get us in the car and start speeding as fast as possible.
Her eyes are unfocused, her head is lolled to one side, and her pulse is getting slower and weaker. I keep checking it as I drive, having to push my fingers deeper into her throat to feel it. I keep talking to her, telling her it’s going to be okay, that I love her, that I’ve got her, that I can fix this, that everything will be okay if she can just fucking hang on, and I beg her over and over to stay with me.
We’re halfway to the hospital when her eyes start to drift closed.
“Alexandria, don’t you fucking dare!” I start screaming at her, begging her to wake up, but she doesn’t.
I almost hit someone as I bring the car to a screeching halt right in front of the emergency room doors. People are yelling at me and I’m yelling for help, almost falling in my rush to get Alex out of the car. Nurses move me aside and do it for me, getting her on a gurney and rushing her into the ER.
The second Alex is taken away from me, blinding pain hits me all at once. I slump against the side of the car and stare after her as two large nurses rush over and haul me onto another gurney.
I close my eyes for a second, and when I open them, I’m being wheeled quickly down a brightly lit hallway. I’m in so much pain that I can barely understand anything, but I can hear people talking to each other over my head.
When I ask them if Alex is alive, no one answers me.
I keep asking until I lose consciousness.
52
THEO
FRIDAY, MARCH 1
I’m vaguely aware of sound and light for a long time before I can open my eyes. Everything seems blurry, out of focus and wrong, and it takes me a minute to process that I’m in a hospital bed on an IV drip and surrounded by machines.
I’m barely awake, and half formed thoughts pass through my mind like water through a sieve, with one glaring exception.
Alex.
I’m in so much pain that I can’t get up, and I try to yell but my voice is too weak. I look around to find the button to call the nurse, pushing it repeatedly with the edge of my hand because my fingers are stiff and in pain under all the bandages. Afterwhat feels like an eternity, a tall nurse hurries into the room and starts checking my vitals.
“Is she alive?” My voice is rough and quiet, and I start to panic when he doesn’t respond immediately. “Tell me she’s alive,please,” I rasp out. The nurse gives me a terse look and nods once, and I pass out again.
***
Danny shot me just below my left collarbone, grazed my left side deeply with the other bullet, broke my nose and three of my ribs, and the bone from his face sliced into my hand deep enough to tear through most of the tendons. On top of all that, he did a great job at beating the absolute shit out of me.
I didn’t feel any of it at the time, but I can feel it all now.
It fuckingsucks.
