Page 198 of Perfect
“I think it’s a good idea,” I say, leaning down and tracing his neck with soft, open-mouthed kisses. He groans as I drag my teeth against his neck, and I feel him getting hard again as his hands slide up my waist, gripping my ribcage and pulling me closer.
Therewe go.
“I still think we should go slowly,” he says softly. I scoff and push back from him, frustrated.
“Why?” He looks surprised at how harsh my tone is.
“Sweetheart, we don’t have to rush this. I want to make sure you’re okay,” he says quietly, tucking my hair behind my ear, and I bite back a sharp response. I can tell he’s thinking about what happened, I can see it in the concern on his face, and I fuckinghateit.
I want him to be the way he was with me before.
I want that warm, hazy feeling he gives me, notthis.
“I’mfine, Teddy,” I say sweetly, running my hands down his body. “I justneedyou.” I kiss my way along his jaw, biting his earlobe gently, and his hands flex against me. I pull back to look at him as I press my hips into his, grinding against him, and I can tell he’s not going to hold out much longer. “Pleasefuck me, Theo,” I whisper in a low voice, and I smile as I watch his pupils dilate and hear him swear under his breath.
He’s always been so fucking easy.
“Only if we take this slowly, okay?” I nod as I kiss him and start undoing his shirt, knowing we’re not going to go slowly. “God, I fucking missed you,” he whispers against my lips before kissing me again, taking his time, as though we’ve never kissed before. My entire body feels electric, and I start to feel good as I run my tongue against his. His hands roam over my body frantically, and everything starts to feel like it should between us.
I work hard not to tense up when his fingers pass over the scars on my leg as he moves his hands up my thighs.
His hands roam over my hips and grip my ass, and he groans as he digs his fingers into me, seeming to forget that we’re going slow as he pushes up against me. I know he can’t help himself when it comes to me, so I grind down against him and he moans, pulling off my dress and trailing his hands down my body appreciatively.
I ignore how his mouth tightens when his eyes land on the scars on my skin. I push his shirt down his arms, throwing it to the ground and lean back to pull his t-shirt off. I run my hands over his taught, tense muscles, ignoring the scars on the left side of his body.
I pull him back into a kiss, and he finally gets lost in me the way I want. He slips my bra off, sucking one of my nipples into his mouth, and I whine as he spends a long time focusing on one breast and then the other, kissing and biting and licking until I’m finally lost in him. I moan, reaching down between us, but he grabs my hand gently and moves it away.
“Theo,come on,” I whine, and he pulls back, looking at my face intently.
“Let me take care of you first,” he says sweetly.
“No,” I snap. I’m done waiting. “Just fuck me,” I beg, standing up and slipping my thong off and undoing his pants. He stares at me apprehensively as I straddle him again, but he slips a hand in between us, barely grazing his fingers over me. I flinch, startled by the touch. My skin crawls, and I fight to keep from pulling away from him.
No. This isnothappening.
His hand stills instantly, his eyes searching my face nervously. “Alex, are you okay?” I don’t say anything, I just nod tightly and try to keep my body loose, but it’s not fooling him.He stops touching me, his hand going back to my hip, and I get pissed.
This is bullshit.
He makes a soft, raspy sound as I reach between us with one hand and grip him hard, and he thrusts into my hand involuntarily. He tenses up and jerks back, looking at me anxiously as his hands grip my hips and push them back slightly.
“Goddammit,sweetie,can you fuckingslow down?” My temper flares, fury rushing through me.
This isnotgetting taken from me. No fucking way am I letting Danny ruin sex for me. I just need to push myself through this, and then I’ll be back to normal.
“Shutup,” I snap. I grip him and line myself up, tensing up the second I feel him against me, and I fight off tears as I notch him into my entrance. Theo’s eyes widen and he goes rigid beneath me, grabbing my hips and pushing me away harder.
“Alexandria,don-” I force myself down onto him and cry out immediately at the pain. Every muscle in my body locks up as panic floods through me, numbing everything.
For one brief moment, I can see Danny’s furious face overlaid on Theo’s horrified one, and I start to hyperventilate as I pull away from my body.
“Oh,fuck. Fuck, fuck,fuck.” I hear Theo freaking out, but I’m already so deep inside of myself that it sounds like it’s coming through water. I can feel my body being moved and I can hear vague sounds, but I let everything fade.
I can’t believe this is happening.
I thought my therapist was full of shit when she said sex might be hard. She said Theo and I should go slow, but I thought if we could just get there, it would mean that everything was finally over, that everything was back to how it should be, that everything was back to normal.
It would mean thatIwas back to normal.
