Page 29 of Perfect
I’ll just suffer in the meantime, watching her eat random ingredients and unsuccessfully masturbate and sleep alone every night.
I pull up my driveway and head for the basement rather than my office or bedroom, working out for an hour and trying to refocus myself. Ineedto be patient, and Icanbe patient for her. We’ll be together soon, I just need to keep my shit together and follow my fucking plan. I don’t really want it to take that long, butshemight need it to take that long.
I want things to be based on her wants and needs, not mine.
I manage to avoid watching the cameras as I make dinner and take a shower, but I head to my office the second I’m out of the bathroom. I just want to check on her and see what she’s doing. It’s early, barely eight, so she’s probably reading or painting or watching a movie.
Maybe I’ll watch the same movie and casually bring it up when I see her tomorrow.
I pull up the camera feeds and all thoughts eddy out of my head. She’s on her bed, watching porn, writhing in skimpy red lingerie and fucking herself. I barely notice that I’m jerking off, because it’s agony to watch her.
I want those to be my fingers inside of her.
She switches to her vibrator, and I can tell she’s exceptionally frustrated from her needy little whimpering sounds. She alternates between thrusting the vibrator inside of herself and focusing on her clit, turning it all the way up as she gets closer. She gasps as her leg tenses up, and I start coming just as her whole body jerks violently. Her eyes snap open, and she huffs angrily before throwing her vibrator against the bed.
Oh, my god.
She didn’t come.
My plans and my tenuous patience disintegrate immediately as I watch her cover her face with a pillow and groan in frustration. All of my impulses about Alex have been right, and my overwhelming impulse right now is to go over there and take care of her.
I quickly clean myself up, throw clothes on, dump some things I bought for us into my backpack and into my pockets, and I’m in my car before I know it.
The conversation with Dr. Mills today seems so irrelevant now. Her bullshit doesn’t apply to this situation because Alex and I areconnected, and I know what she needs. We’re basically together at this point, anyway, and everything will fall into place after we have sex. I think she probably connects best through sex the same way that I do, and I’m positive she’ll feel our connection the second we touch. I’ve been trying to make sure everything goes perfectly, but I don’t think that’s going to work with Alex. I think I need to be more intuitive with her, like right now.
I know I’m right when I hear Alex crying softly through her front door.
She doesn’t need me to be patient.
She needs us to be together.
11
ALEX
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 21
The video is played out, but heat is pooled in my spine and I’m so fucking close I can taste it. I tilt the vibrator exactly right, and my mind drifts towards the object of my stupid, childish crush, and then I’m almost there -
“Jesus, Alice, can’t you do anything right?”My eyes snap open as Danny’s voice blasts through my head, and I lose it entirely. I fling the vibrator away from me and press a pillow over my face, screaming in frustration. I don’t know why this has been happening so much lately, but all I want to do is make myself come uninterrupted by some intrusive memory of that fucking bastard.
I storm into the kitchen and pour myself a full glass of wine, drinking quickly and pouring another. I’m so angry that I start to cry, and then I feel self-conscious once I realize that I’m crying into my wine while wearing lingerie, which has to be some sort of lonely girl cliché.
I’ve just finished my second glass of wine when I hear my deadbolt flip.
Panic rushes through me, and my eyes snap towards the door, my tears stopping instantly as I watch in horror as the door opens. I scream, dropping my wine glass in shock. It shatters on the floor, bathing my feet in glass shards as a tall man in black jeans and a pale green sweater walks in.
I can’t move or I’m going to cut up my feet, but I should at least grab a knife. Instead, the panic makes me freeze as the man looks at me with concern.
Oh, my god.
It’sTheo.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” A chill rolls down my spine as Theo looks me up and down, and his eyes widen when he notices the glass on the floor.
“Shit, don’t move, okay?” My body goes rigid with terror as he drops the backpack slung over his shoulder and walks towards me quickly. I whimper and slam my eyes shut, waiting for the blow. Instead, his strong, warm hands grip my waist as he lifts me easily and sits me on the kitchen counter. I look up at him in shock and he smiles a little, brushing a tear off my cheek.
I work to get my breathing under control and force myself to say something,anything.
