Page 81 of Perfect
“That’ssupposed to make me feel better?”
“Um, yeah?”
“You have got to befucking kidding me!” My voice is so shrill that Theo flinches.
“It’s notthatbad, honey. I’m not going to tell you what Adam did, but I’m a fucking saint compared to him, I promise.” I give him a questioning look, and he shakes his head a little bit, staring ahead at the road. I think about how he was trying to keep me away from Adam, and I shudder.
I don’t think I want to know.
“What happened to Ashley?”
Theo shrugs. “Last I checked, she was about to finish her residency, but that was a few years ago.”
“Why are you bothering me if you were so fucking in love with her?” I ask, and he winces.
“Um, after she gave her victim impact statement, I found out that we’d never had the relationship I thought we did. She didn’t even love me, she lovedKevin- just not enough to stay with him after all that brain damage,” he says, sounding both disdainful and smug. He shrugs and then looks at me, a little bemused.
“Wait, Alex, are youjealous?” I blanch at the suggestion, and he laughs. “Seriously, sweetheart, don’t be,” he says, kissing the back of my hand. “That wassodifferent from what we have. Honestly, I basically didn’t even give a shit about her compared to how I feel about you.” He smiles at me sweetly and I burst into tears, jerking my hand out of his to cover my face as I sob.
“Fuck,” he mutters, letting me take back my hand and smoothing his hand over my hair as I sob. “Sweetheart,pleasedon’t cry.Everything’s fine.” He keeps trying to comfort me, his voice getting increasingly panicky, but everything he says makes it worse. Eventually he stops talking, taking my hand in his and running his thumb over the back of my hand in small circles in an attempt to be soothing.
I don’t stop crying until we get back to his house.
I got lulled into this false sense of security, convinced myself that I could handle this because he’s affectionate and hasn’t hit me and he’s good in bed, but he’s still going tokill me.
He parks and turns toward me, pulling my face towards him with his free hand, looking at me with concern.
“Let’s get you inside, okay? I’m so sorry you found out like this. I wish I’d been able to tell you on my terms, but we’re going to get past this. It’s all going to be fine.” He pulls handcuff keys out of the center console and uncuffs me, and I let him lead meinside and guide me to the couch. I’m starting to get numb, so I just stare at him as he kneels between my legs, cupping my face and giving me a nervous smile.
“I know the prison thing is freaking you out, honey, but I promise that I’m in a better place now. I did a lot of work on myself while I was in prison, and I see a therapist now.” I school my face into an expression I hope looks neutral and not horrified.
I don’t want to know what he was like when he was younger if this is himbetter.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me, Alex. I made bad choices, but I’m not a bad person.” I take a shuddering breath and try to stay calm.
“Theo,” I say, my voice shaky, “can you understand why I’m scared?” He looks at me, frowning. “It’s just that I don’t really have a choice of whether or not to be here, and I don’t actuallyknowyou at all, and I’ve been letting youfuckme, and Ican’tgo to the cops, and you’re astalker, and almost amurderer, and you’re probably going tokillme, and -” Theo covers my mouth with his hand, which is for the best.
“Alexandria, you need to stop spiraling. You’ve got a skewed perception of our relationship right now because you’re upset, but you’re being mean. Youdoknow me, okay? You just didn’t know thisaboutme.” I’m glad his hand is still over my mouth because I want to laugh at how insane he sounds. “Also, you haven’t beenlettingme fuck you. You’ve got this idea that our sex life and relationship are one-sided, and it’s hurtful because theyaren’t. You’re a very active participant in both.” He finally drops his hand from my mouth, but I have nothing to say. He sighs in frustration and looks away from me, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Listen, I’m sorry today sucks, okay? I felt like things were going well this morning. Why don’t we try to reset? We weregoing to get brunch, so let me make you brunch.Iwon’t split the hollandaise.” He gives me a small smile, and I stare at him, dumbfounded. His smile falters, and he nods. “Okay. I’m going to be in the kitchen.”
I pull out my phone the second he’s out of the room and search “THEODORE ANDERSON OREGON” but my search engine shuts down immediately. It was worth a shot. I look around and see his phone and keys on the coffee table, and I grab his phone as quietly as I can. I look at the lock screen and type in my name, and it opens. Of course.
I search his name and click on the first item.
LOCAL STUDENT ARRESTED ON ASSAULT CHARGES
February 3, 2014
SALEM, Ore.- A University of Oregon senior is being held on a $150,000 bond after he was arrested on charges of assault in the first degree, stalking, and harassment.
Police say Theodore Robert Anderson, 21, was arrested after assaulting his roommate, Kevin Eric Jackson, 21, in the apartment of Ashley May Chen, 21. Chen has an active restraining order against Anderson dated January 17, 2014, and she alleges that Anderson began harassing her and stalking her following their breakup on December 27, 2013.
Anderson was allegedly hiding inside Chen’s house when he discovered Chen and Jackson romantically involved. Anderson brutally attacked Jackson, only stopping when Chen hit Anderson over the head with a baseball bat and was able to contact law enforcement.
Jackson is currently in an induced coma as he recovers from the traumatic brain injury caused by Anderson.Chen’s lawyers have requested her whereabouts be kept confidential.
Theo comes back into the room with a cup of coffee, grimacing when he sees me looking at the phone. He walks over and pulls it from my hand, scrolling through it briefly before sighing and setting it down on the coffee table.
