Page 52 of Broken Hero
I was jealous. I hate to admit it, but it is jealousy - not because I want us to be together - because she’s right, she could go out and meet someone and there is nothing I could do about it.
She deserves that - to be happy with someone, to have a soul mate.
I hear the door go – she's only been out a couple of hours that’s got to be a good sign. Is that enough time for anything physical to happen between them? No, she wouldn't...would she? She was giving me a blow job this morning, for fuck’s sake.
I wait for her to come into the living room, but she doesn't. She goes straight upstairs into her bedroom.Shit. I royally fucked up.
I have to go to her. I can't have her thinking that I meant all those things.
I make my way upstairs with a heavy heart. She doesn’t answer when I knock on her door. I knock again. “Soph. I need to talk to you.”
“Fine. Come in.”
I walk in and look at her sitting on her bed. She looks sad. She’s taking her makeup off with a wipe. She’s beautiful with no makeup on; young, fresh-faced and innocent. With all her full makeup on, she’s ready to face the world, and no one is to mess with her, but this Sophie, she’s vulnerable and lets me see that side of her – makes me feel special, honoured as though I’m in on some secret.
“Soph, about before...”
She puts the wipe in the bin and turns to look at me but doesn't say anything.
Guess I better carry on. “I was a dick.”
She stares at me. I can't gauge her reaction, which scares me; most of the time, her feelings are written all over her face.
“You were so mean.” Her voice sounds shaky - like she’s trying not to cry – why was I such an arsehole?
“Baby, I was mad. I didn't mean all that.”
She inhales deeply and looks down at the floor. “Please leave me alone.” She says in a small voice.
I step towards her. “No, I won't.”
She looks up at me when I reach her. Tears are threatening to fall, I can see them building. One leaks out at runs down her cheek.
I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.
“At least I know what you think of me now.”
“I don't think that of you. I lost my temper. I'm a dick sometimes.”
“Sometimes people say what they mean in the heat of the moment. So you think I'm a slag...that I’ll have sex with anyone.”
“No, fuck. Look, I was jealous. I heard you were going out with him and I saw red. I hate the thought of someone else touching you. You aremine- only I’m allowed to touch you - no one else.”
“You were jealous?” her eyes widen as though the thought never even occurred to her.
I kneel in front of her. “Yeah, I was. I don't want to share you.”
She shakes her head as though confused. “What’s going on between us?”
I exhale loudly. “I don't know, but I do know that I don't want anyone else involved until we figure that out.”
She stares at me. Am I getting through to her?
“Let me make it up to you.”
“How?” She asks, her eyes narrowing.
“Take off your clothes.”
