Page 37 of Kings of Desire
‘Not that many things make me smile lately.’
‘Maybe I could try and change that.’
‘Oh, whatdidyou have in mind?’
‘A big screen TV and a comedy show.’
‘You really are The Joker, aren’t you?’ I laughed at what went on through his mind. I knew from the start that there had to be something decent, good within him, and I was just unveiling it, one step at a time.
‘It seems that the villain made you smile.’
And that is what he was. The most delicious villain of them all.
We must have talked for hours, losing track of time, that until my eyes began gradually closing despite all my efforts to keep them open.
‘We should go to bed,’ Ferris stood up from the carpet and offered me his hand to follow.
To be honest, I dreaded this part, awkward and embarrassed at the same time while thinking about how exactly was I supposed to act.
‘Do you want me to give you something to change into?’
‘No, I brought pajamas.’
‘Ok, I’ll go to the bathroom to get out of these clothes and give you some privacy,’ he disappeared through a secondary door, leaving me all alone.
I rushed to change, closing the pearl buttons of my navy-blue silk pajamas at the speed of light, though my choice for the evening didn’t seem to agree with him.
‘Some granny is crying after her pajamas,’ Ferris spoke as soon as he entered the room, dressed in a pair of black shorts and a tank top that left a few tattoos to sneak beneath the material.
‘Was this the charming part of you?’
I was far from choosing a seductive type of nightwear, especially since I didn’t want to encourage any other type of behavior, though my remark only managed to get me in trouble. The knee-shaking kind of trouble!
‘I’d like to take you out of those clothes and get you wearing my own. To know how it feels to be so close to me.’ He took a few steps, reaching my side ‘That was the charming part of me... The one that told the truth. ‘
With one hand he raised the quilt off the bed and in one gesture, invited me to get in.
Shit, we were sharing the bed. For a second I had hoped to get the couch.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll stay on my side,’ he slipped between the sheets and arranged his head on the pillow. ‘But I do want to ask you something before I’ll let you drift off.’
‘What is it?’
‘Where did you go earlier? When we were in front of the fireplace? What troubles you?’
I wasn’t entirely sure if I should answer or not, but something made me do it, even if this was wrong of me. I couldn’t carry the burden alone and needed even for a second to share it with another living soul.
‘Too many things, for my own good,’ I let out an involuntary sigh. ‘I’ve left my hometown to make a new life for me and my family...at least for a part of my family. My sister, Natalie, and my brother, Sebastian. Though I couldn’t bring them here until now, and my time is running out. It’s complicated. I would need to work day and night for a month at The Pleasure Room, only to pay for rent, the Academy, and my brother’s hospitalization since the insurance doesn’t cover it as long as I’m not his legal guardian.’
‘What is his illness? What’s he suffering from?’
‘Kidney failure. He’s been on a transplant list for ages, but he’s getting nowhere with the Elite having priority. He’s on dialysis almost daily-,’ I paused with the days shared by his bedside becoming living memories in my mind. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t... I can’t.’ I needed to stop, even if initially I thought that I could do it. My brother’s illness was always a delicate subject to me and taking his pain on me again would only bring me to my knees completely.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know this would upset you.’
‘It’s ok... It’s just a sensitive subject.’
‘I think it will be better to let you sleep,’ his hand rested on my face for a second, then arranged some loose strands of hair that were falling over my eyes ‘Good night, Bea.’
