Page 99 of Kings of Desire
‘Not exactly. You know what, Nat. I think there’s something on the bed for you too.’
‘Do you think I’m Sebastian? I can see what you’re trying to do.’
‘A new dress.’
‘Not giving in until you answer my questions.’
‘New shoes.’
‘Not interested. I’m not moving until you answer.’
‘And a large bag of glittery notebooks, pens, and who knows what’s in there.’
‘Ok....BYE!!!’
She was running faster than Sebastian, searching for the presents I got for them out of the money I had left from the Pleasure Room.
I let them enjoy the gifts for a while, then called them to dinner, which had already turned into breakfast since the sun was high in the sky.
They were exhausted and so was I. Drained of all powers, but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing ever mattered as I would do it ten times again just to live this moment.
‘Let’s get some sleep,’ I spoke as soon as the dishes were done. ‘You both have your own room.’ I couldn’t get another word from that point on, at least for a few minutes as their cheers lasted ‘But can we please stay in one bed today? Like we used to?’
I needed to know I’m not alone anymore.
‘Yes, sure,’ they both nodded with large smiles plastered across their faces.
‘Nat, we’ll sleep in your room. Your bed is larger than Sebastian’s.’
I couldn’t be in my bed. At least not for today.
‘Why does she get the bigger bed?’ Seb retaliated.
Here we go again. I may be a masochist, but I missed this part.
‘Because I’m bigger!’
‘It’s not because she’s bigger. It’s because you need more room to play ball. So, a smaller bed leaves you with a bigger room.’
‘I win either way,’ Nat was just adding fuel to the fire.
‘No one wins. Let’s go to bed before you’ll both be sleeping in the living room.’
It didn’t take long before we were all heading to Neverland, holding one another as we used to, just as if nothing has changed- when in fact everything had.
They were here now. They were mine now, leaving room for something that I just kept bottling up inside to surface.
I needed to protect them, and it was time to face the truth. I knew things, although I was ashamed to admit how I learned them, all pieced together were leading to a greater scenario.
I had a responsibility. To my family, but also to the world since I decided it was fate that wanted me to know the things I do.
There was an end coming our way, and I was one of the few people that had the knowledge and the means to try and prevent it. Even if I failed, even if there’s nothing left of me after this, it was my burden, and I needed to know I did everything possible.
But for the night...or this day, I just closed my eyes and found peace in a time of war.
Ferris called at one point, late in the afternoon, just about when we were getting back to telling stories and playing silly games. I wanted to invite him over. It was his place, after all, but something made me ask him for one more day just with my family. I needed to spend the night alone. I needed to reflect on things, and on my greatest flaw. I took everyone’s pain upon me, asempathywas turning into a critical condition in my case.
They say everyone has his or her’s moment of greatness. Well, this was mine. Or maybe it was madness in my case, who knows? But I was going to change everything around me! Though for this I needed them all!
