Page 48 of Clean Hack
I started to remember bits and pieces.
“What happened?” I asked because even though I had been there, I felt like there was some kind of block in my brain keeping me from remembering everything.
“I gotta be honest, I’m not really sure.” His arms tightened around me as he took a deep inhale through his nose. “I got a call from you. I showed up and there was a cleanup that happened. Strangest one I’ve ever had, I will always remember it, that is for sure.” He chuckled lowly. “Then you kind of went all headstrong, on-a-mission on me and we ended up in a warehouse full of dead men.”
He paused. Like he was giving me a moment to let it all sink in.
“The Steel Paragons were there…all of them, oddly enough. The leader of the club that resided in that warehouse ended up dead. Some girl was saved. And the FBI showed up.”
It came flooding back then. All of it. The men I’d killed. The situation I’d gotten myself into. Seeing Allison. Being surrounded by blood and bodies. Seeing Clean for the first time. Feeling something come over me that I couldn’t begin to explain the moment I looked into his eyes.
“I was able to get us out of there without being noticed. The FBI seemed like they were more focused on getting the leader than anything else. There was a notebook or journal or something that was handed to the head of the team. It seemed like it was what he was after. He actually…helped the Steel Paragons get out of the situation and didn’t even seem like he wanted to take any of them in.”
“Weird, right?” I whispered, settling my head onto his chest. It felt right, for lack of a better word.
“Yeah,” he said on a sigh. “Definitely.”
We were quiet for a long time, both of us in our own heads. His arm was curled around me, his hand rested on my hip and his thumb stroked absently back and forth against my skin.
I knew he was waiting for answers from me. And I fully believed that he deserved them. Only I wasn’t sure where to start.
“The girl that they were there to rescue, I guess, I’ve been trying to find her for seven years,” I said a little unsure if I was ready to talk about it just yet.
I imagined that was why the Steel Paragons were there, to save her as well as take down Savage. They had been planning to make a move for a while now, but last I knew, the President was still a bit hesitant. I felt some sort of protectiveness over Allison with the club. Like she had become one of their own. And it wasn’t hard to miss how that Axe guy looked like he was ready to murder anyone that so much as looked at her. I was sure the end goal of taking down Savage was up there too.
“She was taken and I couldn’t just let it go. I eventually just started looking into things on my own and when I began to hit walls, I found ways around them. At first, I had no real clue what I was doing, but then after a while, it was like things just clicked in my brain and I was able to look in places that I shouldn’t have been.”
I went on to try and explain it the best way that I could. I got the feeling that I’d lost him a little, but he was trying to show interest.
I didn’t know why I couldn’t talk about Allison just yet. Maybe it was still too fresh and too deep. Or it could have been that it hadn’t completely taken root in my brain that she was out now, that I’d found her. Things still didn’t seem real and I was a little afraid to celebrate only to find out it was all a dream.
“So you are like some kind of computer geek?” he asked and I tried to hold back a snort. “A hacker?”
“Yeah,” I said and patted his chest. “We’ll go with that.”
I had never really put a label on myself. It wasn’t like I’d set out to be some kind of super computer chick. I wasn’t doing what I did to be the best at it. I guess if you wanted to put a name on it, I was a hacker. But I mainly used my skills for my own crusade. I wasn’t really out there trying to do big things to get noticed or because I could. I wasn’ttryingto be the best. Though, I kind of was up there. But I wasn’t in it for the bragging rights. It had started because I wanted to find my best friend. It branched out because things just sort of fell into place that way.
“I always wondered how you seemed to know everything. I couldn’t really figure it out, but then again, I am not up on all that technology stuff. I’m sure that makes me sound like an old man. But I just figured it was better not to keep up with that if I wanted to remain a ghost, in a sense.”
I smiled at his words. He had no idea just how much of a blank form he was to me. I didn’t know anything about him, and it wasn’t for lack of trying.
“Yeah,” I said, still smiling. “I know absolutely nothing about you. I’ve been lucky enough to get glimpses of you here and there, mostly when you’re working, but beyond that…well, nothing other than what you’ve told me.”
“That’s good,” he said. “I want it that way. But you can ask me anything. I will tell you anything you want to know.”
“Derrick,” I said, letting his name fall from my lips in a soft whisper as I lifted my head to look him in the eyes.
“Yeah, Luce?” he said back with the same kind of softness.
Whatever I was going to say fled my mouth and my mind. His deep brown eyes pulled me in and all I wanted was to be as close to him as physically possible. I wanted to breathe him in. I wanted to know what his lips felt like against mine. I was pretty sure I wasn’t imagining this thing between us but I was also scared to ruin whatever we had going on. What if I made a move and it was all wrong? Would I lose him? I was so scared to take the chance.
But then I thought about all the missed chances in my life. And how shut-off I’d been for the last however many years. While I wanted to believe that this thing between us was something, was real, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because I was desperate for any kind of human contact.
I couldn’t tell you how it happened. It might have been me raising up and pressing my lips against his. It could have been him pulling me to his mouth and claiming me. I honestly wasn’t sure because the moment my lips met his, the world spun out of control. It was tender at first, a simple press, my lips against his. Then it was more. His arms tightened around me, my hand fisted his shirt. And I wasn’t even aware of it, but I opened up to him with no hesitation and his tongue was slipping past my opening and searching out mine. It was slow. Unhurried. Savoring. He made love to my mouth and I welcomed it.
I breathed out a sigh and a whimper and he swallowed it down. He understood everything I was thinking and everything I needed right now, and he gave it to me in such a slow and torturous way that I thought I’d go insane.
It had been so long since I’d been touched. So long since I’d felt anything. I wanted it to never end. Oh, and I wanted more.
