Page 51 of Clean Hack
And just because I couldn’t help myself, I turned to her. The movement caught her attention and she looked up at me. I cradled her face in my hands, loving how my hands seemed to frame her jaw just right. Then I slowly and hesitantly lowered my mouth to hers. I made sure to keep eye contact until the last second because I had to know that the first kiss wasn’t just a fluke. I needed to know that she felt this thing between us too. She didn’t pull away and her body didn’t tense up, so I took it as a green light.
My lips met hers softly. I would have said that I really tried, that I got in there and gave it all that I had. But the truth was, the moment we touched, I lost everything. I lost the ability to think. To speak even if I wanted to. I lost the ability to find which way was up and even where I was. Everything happened so naturally that I didn’t need to over think it. I didn’t need to plan my next move. I didn’t need to make sure that I made it good.
The kiss was tender and slow. Her lips were soft and sweet. I didn’t demand entrance and somehow found myself completely absorbed in the simple bouncing of our lips.
She fisted my shirt, her arms reluctantly tugging me ever so closer to her body. My hands fell away from her jaw, sliding down her neck and resting on the curve. Her skin was smooth and warm against my calloused hands.
I got lost in the moment and couldn’t even tell you how long we went on like this. Tentative, slow, soft kisses with barely a pause in between.
I pulled back before we got carried away. I was trying to make a point…one that I was having trouble remembering right now.
Oh, yeah!
“There’s something here,” I said and my voice was raw and thick. “I’m not going to try and act like there’s not, so you don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed to admit it too.”
“Okay,” she said breathlessly, her eyes half-lidded and it was obvious that she was still lost in the moment of the kiss. I wondered if she’d even really heard what I’d said.
Damn, she was adorable. Was it just me that made her this way? I sure as hell hope so.
“Luce,” I said with a smile.
“Oh, um, yeah?” She shook her head like she was trying to clear her thoughts.
“Eat, then we can talk or whatever you want.”
“Um, yeah,” she quickly turned her attention back to her bowl and hastily scooped up a spoonful.
I chuckled and got to work finishing the last little bit I had left in my bowl.
“This is good. Thank you,” she said not meeting my eyes.
“I don’t have much here, but I’m glad you like it.”
I made her sit while I cleaned up. Once the dishes were clean, dried, and put away, I turned to her.
“What now?” I asked letting her choose what we did.
She’d been through a lot and I didn’t want to push her. That didn’t mean that I wouldn’t be there for her when she was ready to talk. But for now, if she wanted to sleep some more or zone out watching mindless TV, then that was fine with me.
“Can we maybe watch something?” she asked tentatively. “I think I still need to process everything.”
“Sure,” I said with a nod and a smile. I pointed in the direction of the living room. “Go get settled and I’ll grab us some waters.”
She slid off the stool and walked out of the room. I stood there long enough to count to ten. I needed that time to refocus myself. Then I grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge, relishing in the way they cooled my hands. I felt like I was on fire and not just from the kiss. It was being near her. So close. Her smell. Her voice.
All those times I imagined how she would sound had nothing on the real thing. It was sweet and a little bit dark. When it hit my ears it held the warmth of the best kind of laughter. It was strange and I felt so weird trying to explain all the things she did to me. And it was just her being herself. That was all. It brought on this kind of nervousness in me. The kind I hadn’t felt in a long time. I almost felt…giddy, for lack of a better word.
I never imagined that could be a thing.
Whatever this feeling was, I’d never experienced it before.
Maybe it was that I’d been so closed off for so long.
Or it could have been that the past days’ events were screwing with my mind.
But something told me that it wasn’t. The events that brought us together were dark and chaotic, but the feeling I had inside of me right now was the complete opposite of that.
When I got to the living room, I found her curled up in the middle of the couch with the remote in her hand. She was flipping through the channels with an incense focus in her wide-eyes.
