Page 77 of B-ry
Whore.
In a way, maybe it got to me because that was how I felt for so long, though I wouldn’t dare admit it.
I was Bryan’s whore. His girl that he kept in secret. I gave him everything without a second thought. I let him into my life, into my body, and didn’t care that he kept me hidden for so long.
“I really need a shower,” I said as my way of cutting off whatever kind of conversation could have come next.
“Yeah, sure.” I heard the sad sigh in his voice. “You want me to get Cami or…”
“You’ve already seen me naked. I bet half the club has now.” I meant it to be a joke but it wasn’t very funny. “I don’t mind if you help me.”
“Right.” The word came out a little clipped.
He pulled out his phone and sent a text. A second later it chimed and I studied his face as he read it.
“Charm says I can take the line out while you take a shower, but I have to leave the base in.”
“Alright,” I said softly.
Once everything was right, he helped me to the bathroom. I told him I had to use the toilet and he let me do it alone. As I sat there, I took in everything about the bathroom. I noticed it all. My toothbrush sitting on the counter in the same spot I had kept it in my apartment. The bottles of shampoo, body wash, and conditioner all lined up in the same spots they had been in my shower.
I couldn’t fight the tears that filled my eyes.
“Can you get Cami, please. I can’t do this with you right now,” I called out, trying my hardest to keep my voice from sounding as shaky as I felt.
“Is something wrong? I’m coming in.”
“No!” I screamed. “Just get my sister.”
I held my breath until I heard him moving away from the door.
This was him.
All of it.
He had said setting up this room was Cami’s doing but she hadn’t seen my place that much. But Bryan had been there many times. He knew where I kept everything. And seeing it now, seeing that he had noticed the little things, began to break me.
I had been so blind.
So stupid.
I wished more than anything that I could have taken the last year back. I wished that I had found him sooner. I wished that I had never said yes to Brice. Or that it took all of this happening for me to realize that he truly cared about me. I wished that I hadn’t wasted so much time.
I was still hurting. My heart, it ached so bad. And seeing all of this now only pushed the dagger in deeper.
I had once blamed him for my life being ruined. I was wrong then.
But now I blamed him for what had happened to me. For being held against my will for the last three weeks. For not finding me. For not trying hard enough to protect me.
I hated him.
I was sick at the thought of him.
But I was also desperate to have him near. To know that he was here and that he could handle it when I broke down.
I had never been so unsure of anything in my life.
It was too much to deal with at once. I had to focus on one thing at a time and right now, I had to wrap my head around what I had just been through. And to do that, I needed a break from him. I feared that with him so close to me, I wouldn’t be able to see past the deep feelings I had for him. That my heart would talk so loudly it would drown out the things my head was trying to process.
