Page 84 of B-ry
“It could have beenyou,” she said and then held me tighter.
Well, that was very true too.
I didn’t want to think about it but it was like I couldn’t shut the thoughts down once they were there.
My fingers threaded through her hair and I held her so tightly against me that I was afraid I might crush her. I didn’t want to let her go. Not now. Not ever.
“I thought about you,” she admitted and I closed my eyes because it hurt so bad. “There were so many things I would have done differently. I’m sorry.”
It tore my heart open to think about everything that she went through.
It killed me to know that I had failed at finding her.
And it gutted my soul to realize that I had been so stupid all along. I was a fool, but it wasn’t because I was in love with a woman that was toying with me. I was a fucking idiot because it took all of this for me to see just how wrong I’d been all along.
While I should have just been grateful that she was here, in my arms and holding me tightly, I couldn’t help but feel a jab of hatred towards myself. And I couldn’t blame her for having the same.
I pulled her head back so I could look into her eyes. I wasn’t surprised to find them shining with pools of wetness.
My forehead fell against hers.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I said looking into her eyes. “I wanted you the moment I saw you. And I was such a fucking dumbass that I didn’t let you know that every single fucking day. I will never let you down again. Please. Please, let me back in again.”
It might not have been fair to beg her like that. Especially when I knew she was on the fence between hating me and needing me. I wasn’t going to give up. Ever. Fighting hadn’t gotten us anywhere good. So I chose to fight for her in a different way. I dropped everything and let her in. Let her see that I wasn’t playing around. Let her see just how weak I was for her.
My emotions might have been running a little high but everything I said was true. I meant it from the deepest part of my soul and I hoped she could see that.
I kissed her then. Because I needed her to feel how deeply I cared about her. Right there. In a room full of family and strangers. I didn’t give a fuck who saw. She was mine, dammit, and I needed her to see that I wanted the world to know.
It didn’t last long, just enough to remind her what it felt like.
She looked dazed for a second then shook her head.
She heard me. I knew she had but I could tell that she needed to step back and process it all. So I didn’t push anymore for right now. She didn’t pull away from me, so I took that as a good sign.
“What can I do?” she asked and then looked around at each one of my brothers.
“Just being here for us is everything.” I stood tall and tucked her into my side. “I’ll tell you a secret. It’s the heart of the women that really help us all get through times like this.”
“That is… a little bit cheesy for big, biker guys.”
“Yeah, well,” I said shaking my head and holding back a chuckle. It just didn’t seem right given the situation around us. “That’s why it’s a secret.”
I cut her off from anything else she might have said by asking if she was feeling okay and told her that if she needed to go back to the compound then I’d make it happen. I wasn’t all that happy that she was here. Not because I didn’t want her to be, but because she’d been through so much and needed time to heal. But there she was, keeping Cami calm and asking if anyone needed anything.
“I need to know who this guy is,” I said in a low tone to Iron once we had a semi-private moment alone. “I need to fucking find him.”
“I know. And I need you calm right now. I got info but this is not the place. Too many ears and eyes,” he replied back, his eyes skirting around the top edges of the room where the security cameras were set up.
He was right. There was too much around. Too many people. And though we didn’t know if the cameras picked up sound, it was still dumb to even risk it.
He looked torn. I could tell that he wanted to stay here and wait to hear something on Blade and Dade but at the same time, we needed to get this fucker.
“A little longer,” he said because he knew I got what he meant.
A little later, Blade was out of surgery and was in recovery. His left arm, leg, and pelvis had been crushed. He was being held together by a bunch of pins now. He had a small fracture on his cheek. And there was swelling around his spine. Which had us all really worried. The doctor said they wouldn’t know the extent of the damage until the swelling went down. He was still out and they weren’t sure when he’d wake up.
But the thing that got to us the most was that his heart had stopped twice while he was on the table.
