Page 50 of B-ry
Once we were on the second floor, Iron headed away from his office. He unlocked the door to his apartment and strolled in. He held onto the door until all of us were in and then he walked away, leaving it wide open. It made sense, there were a lot of us and while his office was big, it wasn’t that big. I had a good feeling that emotions were going to be all over the place and it was best not to have us all packed together like a bunch of damn sardines. The silence was deafening as we waited for Cable and Mouse.
“In here,” Iron called out when we heard them nearing the landing to the second floor. “Shut the door.”
Once we all were settled, he started talking again.
“I have a feeling there are some things going on here that not everyone knows about.” He pinned me with a hard stare for half a second. “I need everyone to take a breath and listen. I don’t want shit breaking out here. Now, B-ry, you got something to say?”
I stood up taller and refused to bow my head in shame like I really wanted to. It wasn’t like me to hide things from my brothers. But at the same time, it was my personal life.
And, yeah, maybe I wasn’t really sure what to say about the whole thing and all. It wasn’t like Laurel and I were dating. Not that I would have minded it at all if we were. But something kept telling me that she didn’t want anyone to know, so I did my best to respect that. It was probably more for selfish reasons than anything, because if I told people and she didn’t want that, then I might have lost what little we did have. It seemed I lost it all anyway, in the end.
“I’ve been spending time with Laurel,” I said not really sure how to explain it. Her sister was in the room and I didn’t want her to have to think about the fact that Laurel and I had been sleeping together. Well, fucking was probably more accurate. I also didn’t want to disrespect Laurel, so I kept that part unsaid and figured people could read between the lines.
“What?” Cami asked and Brand placed a firm hand on her shoulder to keep her from saying anything else. Though, the shock was clear on her face. And maybe a little anger.
My eyes met Ky’s and it was like he was saying ‘I knew something was going on.’ Which he had attempted to call me out on at least once before. But I could tell he didn’t have a clue before now who that person was that I was sneaking away to see.
Chris just blinked at me. I didn’t know what to think of that. Guessed it didn’t really matter anyway.
“How long?” Brand asked and I honestly thought that question would have come from Iron first.
I cleared my throat.
“Pretty much ever since we moved her out of her fancy-ass condo.” That was as close enough to the truth as I could think right now. I didn’t want to go into all the other stuff before then.
There was no point in hiding it, that this had been going on for a long time right under their noses.
I could see the shock and betrayal written on most of their faces. This wasn’t the time to go into it. Laurel was missing. Every second counted. Especially because it had taken us so long to catch on. I blamed myself for that. If I hadn’t cut her off then maybe I would have known sooner.
I knew Laurel had a tendency to be a bit flaky with her friendships. Truth was she only had Cami and Chris now.
As soon as all the scandals started up and it was out there that she had been cut off, all those yuppie fucks dropped her like last seasons… Gucci or something. I didn’t know a damn thing about designers, but I was sure I’d heard that one a time or two. My point was that they turned their backs on her, just like her family.
She never directly came out and said anything, but I could tell that it hurt her. I could tell that she was lonely. I also noticed that while she was grateful that she had Chris and Cami there, she still didn’t think she was worthy of their love and support. And maybe she was a little bit ashamed of what she’d become too. It was a hard balance for her. Sometimes her pride got in the way of letting her accept the good things in her life. And sometimes her vulnerability was too much for her to hide, which led to her avoiding people.
So, while it was shitty that neither Cami nor Chris had noticed something was wrong until a week later, it didn’t really surprise me. I’d been in the background this whole time and I’d seen the way she would brush off their calls and texts. Hell, sometimes she just flat out ignored them. And as much as I would have liked to have said it was because she was wrapped up in me, I also knew better.
“So I have a little better understanding, just what the hell is going on?” Iron asked looking at me for answers.
I launched into it, only giving the details that I thought were important right now. I kept my eyes on Iron’s because I couldn’t handle seeing the looks on the faces of everyone else in the room.
“The night she came up to the bar was the last time I’d seen her. Talked to her, even. I…” This time I did look down. I was so ashamed of that night. What I’d done cut me to the bone then but right now it was suddenly worse. Because I felt like this was all on me. “I ended things that night. Whatever we had going on wasn’t doing either of us any good.”
There. I’d said it.
“Why?” Cami asked and though it was off topic, I felt like she deserved an answer.
They all did. Only how was I supposed to explain without making Laurel look bad? Like she hadn’t been using me all these months. To be fair, I had let her. And it wasn’t like I really had any room to complain, I loved every minute I spent with her.
I let out a deep sigh.
I was man enough to admit that this whole week I’d missed her. That I had thought about going to her and taking back what I’d said. I’d thought about letting her see me weak. But I also knew it wouldn’t have done any good. So I stayed true to my decision even though I couldn’t getmy Queenout of my head.
“Because she was using me as a distraction. As long as I was around she wasn’t going to face the fact that her life had been turned upside down. She wasn’t going to accept it and deal with it head-on. And I guess I wanted more than she was willing to give.”
I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I cared deeply for her. And I didn’t care that they all knew. I just hated that one decision had led us here.
She was missing.
