Page 65 of B-ry
Thank God!
“Thanks, Prez,” I said as I breathed out a sigh of relief.
I made my way down to the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry, hadn’t been for weeks now, but I knew I needed to keep up my strength. It was wise after the workout I’d just had to get some protein in me. I whipped up a couple of eggs and stuck them on a bagel with some cheese. That would get me through most of the day, I decided.
Mouse rounded the corner as I was cleaning up the last of the dishes that I’d used. The look on his face made my hairs stand on end.
“What is it?” I all but barked.
“It’s Cami,” he said then shook his head. “She’s, um, she’s in the room where we stored Laurel’s stuff. I don’t think she’s holding up all that well. And I have to admit, I kind of don’t know what to do. I tried to talk to her, but she just kept muttering to herself and moving things around.”
“I’ll go check on her,” I said and made my way past him. “Call Brand. I think he’s at the shop today. You know if Chris is around?”
“Okay, I’ll call Brand. And no, I haven’t seen Chris. I think he’s off today.”
The door to the room was wide open. As I approached, I heard rustling and chaos. Maybe the chaos was more of a feeling. I sighed internally because I didn’t know what I was going to find. I had a good idea it was going to be a frantic, if not hysterical, Cami and I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to try and calm her down. Which I realized was shitty. I was barely holding it together as it was, so how could I give her words of comfort when I couldn’t even find them for myself.
“Cami,” I said as I stepped into the room.
I was right, chaos. Boxes opened. Things pulled out and separated out into little piles spread out all over the room. It was clear there was some kind of organization to her madness but I couldn’t begin to decipher it.
“Cami…” I said again and approached her much like I would a wild animal.
“B-ry,” she said with a gasp as she got to her feet and whirled around to face me. “Oh, you scared me. Hi. How is everything?”
Though there was a cheerfulness in her voice there was a scary edge to it. Like she was trying her best to cover what was really going on with her. Like she was clearly about to snap.
I said her name again very calmly. Her eyes slowly moved up to meet mine. I let it all down for just a moment, the thick guard that I was trying so hard to keep in place, so that she could see how much I was suffering too. She needed to know that she wasn’t alone and that I did understand.
For a long moment, we both just stood there, choked by our emotions and struggling to fight our way through them.
“I-I just thought that it would be nice if she had someplace to come back to that seemed somewhat familiar. Like if I could get this setup with her things to actually look like a room. And not have everything in boxes where she would have to sort through it. I don’t know…” She let out a long sigh. “It’s probably very silly, but I want things to seem as normal as possible when she comes back.”
It didn’t slip by me that she kept saying the word back like there wasn’t any other option. Even I didn’t want to think that Laurel might never return, in the back of my head it was there. It was a very real possibility. And I feared that outcome so much.
It also wasn’t missed by me how she avoided the word taken or kidnapped. Or that we would rescue Laurel. I knew it was her brain’s way of keeping her going. A way to block out what was really going on. I wasn’t going to correct her or steer her mind away from the distracting plan to make this place more like a room.
“I think that’s a great idea,” I said with a soft nod. “Would you like some help?”
“Yeah. Please. That would be great. I can’t move the big stuff around on my own.”
“Okay.”
I waited for her to tell me where she wanted me to start. This was her show, the thing that she needed to do to keep herself going, I was just there to help out.
But she didn’t say anything for a long moment. She just stood there, her body almost swaying back and forth as her eyes went glassy.
Then she was crumbling, literally, her body sagging as her knees trembled. Her hands went to cover her face as I automatically reached out to catch her before she hit the floor. She buried her face in my chest and cried. Like body-wracking sobs and pouring snot, cried. And I did my best to soothe her and calm her down. However, I knew there was no stopping this because it was like the dam just broke.
“I’ve been such a crappy sister,” she sobbed and I was barely able to understand what she’d said. “I haven’t been there for her. I knew she wasn’t doing alright with everything though she tried her hardest to play it off. I wanted to say something but I knew if I did I would only make it worse.”
There was more tears and some hiccuping.
“I just didn’t know what to do. If I got in her face, then she’d shut down and stop talking to me. I didn’t want that. So I tried to give her space to work through things but still let her know I was there. I tried my best to let it go when she didn’t call me back. But this last time… I should have known something was wrong.”
“You can’t do this to yourself,” I said giving her a quick squeeze. “This isn’t on you, Cami. Laurel could be difficult sometimes.” I let out a sharp, huffed laugh. “That’s one of the things that always got to me. In a good way, that is. I never know what I’m walking into. She can be headstrong. And if she wants to shut you out there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it except for wait it out. So how were you to know that something had happened?”
“It’s not your fault either, B-ry.” She didn’t look up at me and though her words were muffled by my shirt, I heard them loud and clear. It didn’t mean I believed them.
