Page 91 of Iron
I did. I’d been there at the wedding, after all, and I recognized who she married and her new extended family. Though, I could also see how Rowan craved excitement in her life. The kind that you had to keep a lid on. So taking over for Petra a few days a week gave her that without causing too many waves in her relationship.
Or so I imagined.
I didn’t know her all that well and I knew nothing about her husband other than the face he showed the public. And we all knew that was rarely the true face of the person.
“But I think she would go crazy if she didn’t do something,” Petra went on.
“I think she would miss you, too.”
She looked at me, her eyes narrowing as if she was searching for a look that told her I was making a joke. She wouldn’t find it, though.
“I suppose she’s become used to me over the years,” she said with a shrug.
“Or, ya know, she cares about you.” When she didn’t seem to understand, I went on. “You take care of those girls in more ways than one. You not only provide them a safe place to work, but you also treat them well. And in that line of work, that’s hard to find. Not sayin’ everyone is cut out for that job but I do get that there are people out there that enjoy it. You give them that outlet and pay them well for their services. You’re not only a good boss, but a good friend as well.”
“I think you see me differently than I see myself,” she said softly, her gaze sliding away from mine.
“Maybe,” I said then placed a kiss along her hairline. “Or maybe I see the real you, the one that you don’t even realize is there.”
She rolled over on her back. Her head rested on my shoulder and I ran my fingers through her tangled hair until it wasn’t tickling my nose.
“I have a hard time remembering before that night,” she said and I remained silent. I knew what she was talking about and I wasn’t about to stop her from getting out what she needed to. “I can remember bits and pieces. Like even now, I know what my mom smelled like. And my dad would sing this old Slovenian lullaby to me when I was younger. But I can’t remember the tune or the words.
“We were poor. Both my mom and dad worked. Some nights all we would have for dinner was stock soup and bread. But I don’t think I was ever aware of how bad it was. I don’t remember my childhood as unhappy.”
Her fingers moved to trace over one of the scars on her stomach. Lastly, she traced the largest one just under her left breast.
“Then they came that night,” she said in an even flatter tone than before. She was reliving it, but almost like she was distancing herself from the memories. “After that, I just remember feeling empty. I wasn’t mad, or angry, or sad. I was nothing.”
My hand covered hers and her movements stopped. My fingers forced their way through the spaces between hers. Her lids blinked a few times but there were no tears there, and I knew there wouldn’t be. Then her fingers curled, holding on tightly to mine.
“My dad was dead. Cut open right in front of me for trying to stop them. My mom was hysterical, crying every day for months. She fell apart and I knew that I couldn’t. So I didn’t. I didn’t try to get back the girl I was. I let her die that night along with my dad.”
I knew the barest details of what had happened. Cable was able to dig that much up. I also knew what came later, and there had even been pictures to go along with a very detailed report.
Even though I knew, hearing it from her lips crushed me.
“I agreed to testify because I knew they’d come after me,” she said and I swallowed hard. “I was young, but I knew. Men like that didn’t let things go. They thought they had enough power that they could get away with anything. And when someone tried to prove them wrong, they then covered their tracks.”
She went quiet for a few beats and I patiently waited for her to go on.
“My dad used to shave with a straight razor every day. He told me that my mom liked a smooth face and he wanted to make it as smooth as possible. I could have taken anything to remind me of him, but that was what I chose after we packed up the house.”
I wasn’t sure I could stomach much more even though I knew the outcome. But I stayed silent because she was giving me parts of herself that she didn’t give anyone.
“It didn’t matter where we went to hide, I knew they’d find us.” Her fingers tightened even more. If she kept it up, I wasn’t going to have fingers left by the time she was done. “They were going to gut me like they did my father. I know because they told me. They hung my mother from the balcony on the second floor and made me watch. When they took me back to my room, all I saw was that razor sitting right next to the bed. I didn’t even think about what I was doing. I don’t even remember what I did. I woke up surrounded by three bodies and covered in blood.”
Her head tilted until she looked me in the eyes.
“You knew all of this, didn’t you?” she asked but there was no anger in her tone.
I cleared my throat before I attempted to speak.
“Most of it, yeah,” I answered truthfully.
“Your man is good, I take it. Those files were supposed to be erased when I came here.”
“He’s good,” I confirmed with a nod of my head. “Only he and I looked at those files.” I tried my hardest to assure her that not everyone knew about it and they wouldn’t unless she told them.
