Page 66 of Iron
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Petra
Just because I didn’t understand emotions, didn’t mean that they didn’t sneak up on me sometimes.
Like now, I couldn’t tell you how or what I was feeling, I just knew it wasn’t normal. For me, at least.
I might have been in the bedroom but this place was far from soundproof. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop on the conversation but I didn’t have much of a choice.
Iron’s tone was soft as he delicately told the girl the details of what had happened earlier. There was a long silence that followed and I imagined that she was probably in shock. I figured that was the first thing that people went through when they’d learned that a loved one had died.
I shook my head but I wasn’t sure why.
“Abigail,” I whispered out so quietly it barely registered to my ears.
She wasn’t simply some girl. She was the sister of one of Iron’s men. And if I understood it correctly, it was as if she was part of Iron’s family.
Beyond that, I didn’t know a single thing about her.
Something pinched in my abdomen and I almost… hated… that I had no connection to this girl. I didn’t know what she looked like. Or maybe I did, only I didn’t know a name to go with her face.
I had no clue if she lived here in the city or at the compound. Or perhaps she was only visiting. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but I thought that only the men lived here and possibly not all of them. The compound seemed more like a sleep-the-night-off type of place. But then again, I didn’t have the first clue.
I didn’t know because I hadn’t made an effort to find out.
There always seemed to be a bunch of people around whenever I was here. It didn’t matter what time of day it was.
Then an agonizing cry filtered into my ears. It was such a heartbreaking sound that a shiver ran down my spine.
I couldn’t explain why. Nor could I begin to say what the twinge of pain in my heart was.
Sympathy, perhaps.
I’d never known the loss of a brother simply because I didn’t have siblings. So there was no way I could understand what she was going through. Yet, there was a part of me that grew cold as if all the lights had gone out in the dead of winter. It wasn’t like the kind of icy cold that I usually kept wrapped around myself. This didn’t make me feel strong. No, it was the opposite.
I could no longer hear their words because the ringing in my ears was so loud.
I took a deep breath and tried to shake off the strangeness that was surrounding me.
I had a feeling I wouldn’t be leaving this room anytime soon. Iron was the comforting type and I knew he wouldn’t let her go until he felt it was okay. I suspected that would be a while.
I curled up on the bed but I wasn’t tired. And even if I was, I wouldn’t dare let myself sleep. I had to be awake for him when it was all over. Or really, I wanted to be. Because it mattered to me that I was there and ready to catch him when he collapsed.
Iron was strong. I never thought of him as weak, not even when he let me tie him down. Not even when I gave him commands that he followed without question. Not even when he stuck by my side and came when I called. He wasn’t weak, not even a little bit. It took a strong man to let a woman lead him around. And it was an even stronger man that bowed down when he already sat on the throne.
I started to think about it even more.
I loved Iron, as much as I think I could love someone.
I couldn’t exactly explain what that meant, but all I knew for sure was that if anything happened to him, I would lose something myself. I’d even say that I’d lose a part of me. I didn’t think I would feel whole without him and it might have taken me this long to realize it.
My chest began to hurt. A dull ache throbbed in my heart. The more I thought about it, the more I felt almost a sense of panic.
With a deep breath, that I held in for far too long, I started to think about what it was like to lose someone.
I should know.
I had once.
