Page 12 of Unspoken Confessions
He’d broken in and was waiting to kidnap me. He was going to keep me locked up in his basement as his own personal doll. Or worse, wear my skin as a coat.
The fact that he hadn’t opened his mouth to answer me only sent my panic into a frenzy.
Oh, my God! Hewasgoing to skin me. Would he do it while I was still alive?
I couldn’t suck in a breath. I tried. Then tried again. But it was as if my lungs were locked up as tight as the rest of my body seemed to be.
“You know, I’m here for a reason. You don’t have to hover around like I can’t do my damn job,” another voice called out from the other entrance of the room, drawing closer with every word.
My stalker or kidnapper or killer blinked and turned his head in the direction of the sound.
“Oh!” the other man said sounding shocked. “Sorry, I didn’t know you’d be up. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
I shook my head, my body seeming to uncoil all at once as I flicked my gaze to the new man that had walked into the room.
“Bodyguards,” I breathed out and my body sagged in relief with the realization that I wasn’t going to die tonight.
My cheeks flamed hot and I was thankful for the darkened room, sure that the light flickering from the TV wasn’t enough to show my embarrassment.
“I’m Austin and this big, silent fucker is Jameson,” the second man said causing the man on the couch to toss a disapproving look his way.
Either Austin wasn’t one for professionalism or he just didn’t care. It didn’t bother me and in fact, I kind of liked it.
I nodded, unable to open my mouth as I stared at Mr. Intense Eyes.
Jameson.
His name was fitting, yet not. I couldn’t explain it. Somehow, knowing his name now didn’t help explain anything I’d seen in his face that night at the club.
“I liked you inThe Day You Never Came Back, but that horror movie you did last summer was a little weak.”
I huffed out a laugh at Austin’s words.
Rarely did I find someone that gave it to me straight and I actually appreciated it more than I’d ever say.
“Yeah,” I said without anger. “A lot of the gore ended up getting cut out of the final cut. It turned out to be more of a romance with a side of spook. Hardly what I had signed up for.”
Which had ended up pissing me off more than anything. When I read the script, I’d been excited. I’d hoped that I could spread my wings a little and show that I had other sides to me. I’d been stuck in the role of being the handsome, charming lead that could occasionally get lucky enough to land a comedic role. But that wasn’t all I was. That wasn’t all I wanted to be.
“Can you believe this guy has never heard of you?” Despite already knowing that, Austin sounded as if he was shocked by it.
At this point, I was a household name. Everyone knew me. Or at least knewofme. I figured there wasn’t a person left in America that hadn’t heard my name. Maybe they didn’t know my face, but they knew of my existence.
I felt my lips curl up into a smile as my gaze landed back on Jameson. Who, by the way, didn’t look apologetic in the least. He didn’t really look much of anything, his face blank as his eyes cut over to me. Was he trying not to acknowledge my presence? Did he recognize me from the club? Was he hiding as much as I was?
None of those questions could be answered so I brushed them away. The man was too closed off and I could sense that wouldn’t be something that changed any time soon. I certainly wouldn’t be the person to make him open up. Not with the way I felt the annoyance and hate radiating off him.
“That’s a little refreshing, actually,” I said back to Austin though my eyes were still glued on Jameson. My head shook as my lids fluttered in an attempt to rid myself of the odd stupor I’d been sucked into. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around earlier. It’s nice to meet you both. I’ll leave you to it.”
I wasn’t sure what else to say. The last thing I wanted was to come off as rude, but this whole exchange had been awkward at best. Austin’s fawning had been slight but I still wasn’t comfortable with it. And as for the man on the couch, it was clear that I wasn’t welcome here. Which was fucking ridiculous because this was my house! I shouldn’t have let him make me feel that way. But as I turned and walked back up the stairs, I knew I didn’t have enough of a backbone to change the situation.
It wasn’t until I was locked safely away in my room that I let everything free. My body became hot… the kind of hot that had my cock stiff as a damn railroad spike. I reached down, running my palm roughly against it in hopes of getting it to deflate. I knew it wouldn’t work but it was worth a try. No, I wasn’t going to tug one out to the man that I couldn’t get out of my head. So what if I’d done it before today, I sure as hell couldn’t do it now. It felt wrong. Really wrong. He was not only now living under my roof, but he was also in a sense working for me.
Though that last part was a little murky.
I blew out a long breath and flopped down onto my massive, lonely bed.
That alone was enough to kill my boner.
Just thinking about how I wouldn’t be able to have anyone to fill it as long as I let myself keep living this cycle killed any kind of sexual desire I had. Either I’d be stuck alone or settle for something that would never make me happy. Both weren’t things I could live with but right now, I didn’t see any other options.
How did I get here?
I was old enough to be able to take my life by the balls and live it how I wanted to. But I’d been shoved into this corner and couldn’t get out. It had been that way since before I’d even known what I wanted, what I liked. And now I was stuck here because there were simply too many people I’d disappoint and hurt if I ever tried to break free. Even in the time whencomingoutwas becoming more accepted and supported, every time I thought about it, my father’s old-school Hollywood voice was right there in my ear. It would ruin my career. I’d lose everything. I’d only ever be seen as one thing. And so on.
I rolled over, pulling the covers around me as I went. My arm reached out to the free space beside me. What I wouldn’t give to have a warm body next to me even if it was for the night. Yes, I was that pathetic and lonely right now.
As much as I appeared to have it all together to the outside world, I was a mess on the inside. I was far from that person they saw. The one they put up on some really high pedestal in their minds. And sure, I felt like the biggest fraud ever. There were many times I wondered if I’d ever survive the fall. There were many times I wanted to actually see if I could.
